IWAS ABOUT TO GIVE UP... THEN I MET MY PERFECT MATCH ONLINE
Debbie petty, 50, a former NHS administrator, split from her first husband, with whom she had four children. She met Lawrence, 47, a divorced engineer, on eharmony. Here they share their story...
DEBBIE SAYS:
Just before I read Lawrence’s dating profile, I’d taken the decision to wipe my online presence and have a long break from the whole thing.
I’d tried a handful of free sites and, to be honest, I’d had my fill of disappointing dates with men, who either didn’t look anything like their pictures or were clearly lying about their age.
At 44, I’d been divorced for a decade; I was working full-time and juggling family, too. Finding love seemed like a thoroughly lost cause.
In fact, it was my 16-year- old son, Lewis, who persuaded me to give it one more chance and sign up to a site you actually had to pay for, where the men might be more serious about commitment. I think he thought I deserved a bit of luck.
And then, quite quickly, up popped Lawrence. His profile was full of humour and kindness and I remember catching my breath as I read it.
the trouble was, he lived almost 240 miles away from me in Devon. Plus there was no picture! He’d signed up so recently, his photo still hadn’t been verified. But it didn’t matter — I messaged him, and over the next few days we began to have an online conversation that felt natural and made me laugh out loud.
We liked all the same things — animals, art, sci-fi films, family — and when his picture appeared, well, that was a brilliant bonus. He looked just as lovely as he sounded.
It really felt like my luck might be changing. But then I got ill. I had blinding headaches and terrible pain in my jaw.
A week or so later, I collapsed and had to be rushed to hospital. I’d still never met Lawrence, but Lewis knew how much he was beginning to mean to me, so he phoned him to tell him where I was.
I had to stop him rushing to me — the last thing I wanted was to meet him for the first time in a hospital gown!
It turned out I had an infection in a nerve that had travelled to my brain: I was pretty sick, but throughout my recovery, Lawrence was my rock and we messaged all the time.
two months after we’d ‘ met’ online, we met in real life. It was nerve-racking because by then I really did think I’d fallen in love, but I also knew it might feel very different in the flesh.
to my great relief, the attraction was instant, and we stayed up that first night talking and laughing till 4am. Lawrence and I were married in July 2016. I honestly understand why people get despondent about online dating — it can seem like hard, confidence- sapping work. But love is out there: we’re proof of it.
LAWRENCE SAYS:
For about six months I dabbled with online dating, but didn’t take it seriously. My divorce was quite long and drawn-out, and I wasn’t really in the right frame of mind. I certainly didn’t tell any of my friends I was doing it and I ignored a lot of replies because, frankly, they seemed a bit crazy.
But that first online conversation with Debbie on eharmony was completely different.
I remember reading the questions she asked me with a big smile on my face because they were exactly the sort of questions I wanted to ask her. It felt like the first real, honest conversation I’d had with a woman online.
Immediately I could relate to her. In fact, it felt as though we’d known each other for ever.
there was nothing awkward about it and I loved the way she looked in her pictures. Every time she messaged me, I felt my stomach flip.
When Lewis phoned me to say Debbie had been rushed to hospital, I packed a bag straight away and checked train times to shropshire, where she lived. this connection we had felt very real, and I was really worried about her. I even spoke to her dad. In the end, she told me not to come and instead we messaged each other and talked every day while she recovered.
Weeks later, we were desperate to meet, and when she suggested making the trip to see me, I leapt at it. I remember her getting out of her car outside my flat and looking up at me. I was so nervous. I told her we should go to the pub across the road for some Dutch courage!
We hadn’t told each other on the phone that we loved one other, but I think that first real ‘date’ proved it. she stayed for a week!
We found that we could talk about deep subjects very quickly and, at our stage of life, I think you know instinctively when something is right. After that we travelled up and down to see each other every weekend. I immediately loved her kids, and they seemed to like me back.
A year and a month after we met online, I asked her to marry me. We all moved in together and, two years after that, we tied the knot in shropshire, with an Alice in Wonderland-themed garden party after the wedding.
I love my new life with Debs and her family. We don’t have tons of money and there are still bumps in the road now and then, but I have honestly never been happier.