... and now for his most outrageous handbaggings
NEVER short of an acerbic remark, Lagerfeld’s wit was irreverent, frequently controversial and occasionally cruel. Here, Beth Hale shares some of the funniest — and most outrageous — of his one-liners.
ON HIMSELF: ‘I am very much down to earth. Just not this earth.’
ON ANDY WARHOL: ‘I shouldn’t say this, but physically he was quite repulsive.’
ON PLASTIC SURGERY: ‘Nothing makes you look older than attempting to look young. The worst are the lip operations. They look like they flew through the windscreen during a car accident and were patched up badly afterwards.’
ON CHILDREN: ‘I hate all children. For other people, it’s fine, but not for me.’
ON THE DUCHESS OF CAMBRIDGE: ‘Kate Middleton has a nice silhouette and she is the right girl for that boy. I like that kind of woman, I like romantic beauties.’
ON HIS FOOTWEAR: ‘I buy my shoes a size too small; I like the way it feels.’
ON HIS GLASSES: ‘They’re my burka, a burka for the eyes. I’m a little shortsighted, and people, when they’re shortsighted, they remove their glasses and then they look like cute little dogs who want to be adopted.’
ON HIS SUCCESSOR AT CHLOE
(STELLA McCARTNEY): ‘They should have taken a big name. They did, but in music, not fashion. Let’s hope she is as gifted as her father.’
ON TATTOOS: ‘I think tattoos are horrible. It’s like living in a Pucci dress full-time.’
ON WOMEN WHO OBJECT TO THIN
MODELS: ‘They are fat mummies sitting with their bags of crisps in front of the television, saying that thin models are ugly.’
ON KEEPING STANDARDS UP: ‘My mother always told me that you could wake up in the middle of the night and be deathly sick, so you always have to be impeccable. Everyone should go to bed dressed like they have a date at the door.’
ON MOBILE PHONES: ‘I send notes. I’m not a chambermaid whom you can ring at every moment. Today, most people act like they work at a switchboard in a hotel.’ ON THE GREEK FINANCIAL CRISIS (AND
ITALIANS): ‘Nobody wants Greece to disappear, but they have really disgusting habits. Italy as well.’
ON HIMSELF: ‘I am like a caricature of myself, and I like that. It is like a mask, and for me the Carnival of Venice lasts all year long.’
ON BEAUTY: ‘Life is not a beauty contest, some [ugly people] are great. What I hate is nasty, ugly people . . . the worst is ugly, short men.’
ON HEIDI KLUM: ‘I don’t know Heidi Klum. She was never known in France. Claudia Schiffer also doesn’t know who she is.’
ON HIS WEDDING CURSE: ‘Normally, I don’t recommend me for wedding dresses — they all get a divorce.’
ON BEING A LEGEND: ‘A sense of humour and a little lack of respect — that’s what you need to make a legend survive.’