Fry could be so good for you . . .
DINERS believe food is better for them if the restaurant menu is handwritten, rather than printed. Researchers have discovered that even a traditional fry-up can pass as the healthy option if presented in this fashion. Customers apparently assume the food has been sourced locally if the ingredients are scribbled by hand on the menu. Not for the first time, I couldn’t help thinking here was another example of life imitating Minder, in particular an episode starring the late Mike Read, rerun on ITV4 the other night. He plays Vernon, freelance muscle hired by Arthur while Terry’s arm is in plaster. Vernon fancies himself as a bit of a gourmet and during his
few days on the payroll eats Arthur out of house and home at a series of expensive restaurants. At the end of the episode, Arthur, Terry and Des (played by the great George Layton), take Vernon to a typical greasy spoon. ‘Don’t tell me,’ says Vernon. ‘This is one of those grotty caffs that actually serves fantastic food. Richard Burton comes here, at dawn, for egg and chips, right?’ When the congealed Full English is put in front of him, Vernon wonders why the others aren’t having the same. ‘He only makes one of those a day, does George,’ Des explains. ‘What’s these little black bits on the eggs here?’ Vern asks. ‘Truffles?’ ‘Nah, nothing nasty like that, Vern,’ says Arthur. ‘It’s burnt fat.’
I’VE been trying to figure out who that SNP muppet waving at the camera in the House of Commons reminded me of — you know, the one who starred centre stage in Friday’s column. Then the penny dropped. He looks like Gordon, the gay boyfriend, in BBC Scotland’s hilarious comedy Two Doors Down. I’ve since heard from Mail reader Paul Kelly with an even better likeness. ‘If you put him in a red and white bobble hat, it’s Where’s Wally!’