Mad, bad and still dangerous
All you need to know about the diseased state of British politics is that Tom Watson, labour’s Deputy leader, is being talked up as a voice of moderation.
In a world of deranged fanatics like O.J. Corbyn and Soubry loo, two-bob spivs like Chucky Umunna, the hopeless Mother Theresa, and antidemocratic planks of wood like Spread Fear Phil and Dominique Grievance, I can see how Watson might appear to some as a sensible alternative.
In common with Bonking Boris, he lost a bit of timber when he took up with a bird half his age. And he scrubs up quite well these days.
But I didn’t dub him the Nonce Finder General for nothing. Watson is guilty of abusing parliamentary privilege to smear blameless Conservatives as child-molesters. Don’t forget, too, that he had his nose deep in the expenses scandal trough.
The new model Turbo-Butter Tommy is also a sworn enemy of our Free Press, which he wants to hobble and bring under State control. Please don’t be fooled. Watson remains a very bad, mad and dangerous man, utterly unsuited for high office.
If he’s one of life’s ‘moderates’ we must be in more trouble than we thought.
My COlleAGUe ephraim Hardcastle reports that elton John has ‘ chosen’ pretty boy actor Taron egerton, whoever he is, to play him in an upcoming movie. I’m assuming Angela Merkel wasn’t available.
It’s a game we’ve all played. Who would portray us in our own movie? My old picture byline looked like Peter Sellers starring as Fred Kite in I’m All Right, Jack.
years ago, I accepted that the role of your Uncle Rich would probably be best suited not to a young Paul Newman, but the great Michael elphick, shortly before he drank himself to death.
Dear old Mike is the only man I’ve ever seen carried in to a boozer.
Occasionally, we get to see ourselves as others see us. Recently, I had to have a new passport photo taken.
When it emerged from the printer, I realised that, far from being the spit of some Hollywood matinee idol, these days I look like one of the Hatton Garden safe deposit robbers.