The lesson that could save so many young lives
And believe me, I should know
FROM an early age i knew i was gay, but it wasn’t until i was 14 that the enormity of this struck me. And i was horrified.
i wanted to feel ‘ normal’; to grow up and have the same family life as my parents, the same prospects and hopes as my friends. Every evening after school, i’d lock myself in the bathroom and cry.
After doing this for six months, i realised that crying hadn’t changed anything. so i decided that i had two options: i could either kill myself or accept i was gay and get on with my life. i chose the latter. A few years later, someone at my school, a Catholic convent, did kill himself because he was gay and couldn’t cope. i understood how he must have felt.
Homosexuality was never discussed by the nuns and teachers — it was as though gay men and women didn’t exist. in fact, the page discussing same-sex attraction in a biology textbook in the school library had been removed, as though simply reading about it might corrupt us.
For those who have never struggled with their sexuality, it is hard to understand how lonely this feels.
Later, when i started working in A&E, and despite far greater tolerance than when i was a teenager, i was shocked at the number of youngsters i saw who had either tried to kill themselves or self-harmed because they were unable to come to terms with their sexuality.
the tragedy of it all, the misery they and their families endured, is something i will never forget.
Given my personal history, you will understand why i was delighted to read comments made by Amanda spielman, the head of Ofsted, this week.
SHE
said that all children should learn about LGBt (lesbian, gay, bi-sexual, trans) issues at school, and about gay family life; that some people can have two mothers or two fathers.
it follows protests by Muslim and Christian parents at a school in Birmingham who have objected to their children being taught about same-sex relationships and homophobia as part of the relationship and sex Education (rsE) classes.
i would normally defend to the hilt the right of parents to have a say on what their children are taught at school, but on this issue i stand firm. We are facing a mental health crisis, and fear and confusion over their sexuality is a trigger for some young people.
studies show that more than half of all students subjected to homophobic bullying say they have thought about suicide, and about 20 per cent have actively attempted it.
Gay youngsters are three times more likely to have made a serious attempt on their lives than teenagers generally. the gay rights group stonewall reports that two- thirds of gay pupils experience homophobic bullying, rising to 75 per cent in faith schools. For their sake, it is imperative that this is discussed.
this doesn’t mean talking about the mechanics of sex to young children, as critics fear. it’s about acknowledging that some people are gay, and that it’s OK.
For those coming to terms with their feelings, this can make all the difference. i certainly wish such discussions had been part of the curriculum at my school. it would have prevented a lot of anguish.
We must work to create an environment in the home and at schools and colleges where gay teenagers feel understood and accepted, and work to build a society where homophobia is as taboo as racism is now.
i also believe that it is the children of parents who protest
Men cope better with long hours at work, while women are more likely to become depressed, according to a study at University College London. What a surprise. Women were sold a dud when they were told they could have it all. Too many have ended up with demanding careers while having to do the lion’s share at home. I see it with my female colleagues. More dads need to step up and do their fair share.
vociferously about teaching LGBt issues who will benefit most from class discussions. some of them will be gay whether Mum and Dad like it or not, and because of strict religious beliefs these children are likely to feel even more isolated.
it is our duty to help youngsters during this time, and the best way to do that is to ensure all children are presented with information about same- sex attraction in a non-judgmental way.
Just as fundamentalist Christians who don’t believe in evolution cannot influence the biology curriculum to fit in with their views, so parents of religious persuasions who don’t approve of homosexuality cannot be allowed to influence what their children are taught.
in 21st-century Britain, we must not tolerate intolerance.