Playing the name game
QUESTION Crystal Palace footballer Fitz Hall was given the brilliant nickname One Size. Are there any sporting nicknames to rival this?
From the world of rugby, Irish prop Keith Wood was known to some as Uncle Fester, owing to his uncanny resemblance to The Addams Family character. To others he was The raging Potato, a reference to the shape of his head!
When barrel- chested England prop Jason Leonard trundled on to the field wearing a red shirt in one game, fellow forward martin Bayfield said he looked like a London bus. Leonard, known for his sense of humour, became The Fun Bus.
Brian Lima was a Samoan centre whose forceful tackles, that supposedly rearranged his victims’ bones, earned him the nickname The Chiropractor.
Scottish fly-half Craig Chalmers was called Judith, after the TV travel presenter, and British rugby league legend martin offiah was dubbed Chariots offiah.
Mike Roberts, Telford, Shropshire. ThErE are some cracking examples from the world of football. my favourite has to be Whitney, the nickname given to Senegal international and former Sunderland midfielder Alfred N’Diaye. This was based on Whitney houston’s Number one I Will Always Love You — or, in this case, N’Diaye Will Always Love You.
Jason mcAteer, one of Liverpool’s muchmocked Spice Boys, was nicknamed Double Trigger because he was considered to be twice as daft as Trigger from only Fools And horses.
The French Liverpool striker David N’Gog was given the nickname Wash N’Gog after a famous shampoo.
Arsenal striker Dennis Bergkamp was the Non-Flying Dutchman because he was scared of plane travel.
Arsenal midfielder ray Parlour was the romford Pele and former manchester United striker and current manager ole Gunnar Solskjaer was called the BabyFaced Assassin.
James Knight, Milton Keynes, Bucks. A FEW seasons ago, manchester City had a winger called Kiki musampa. he Looks familiar: Keith Wood and Uncle Fester of the Addams Family was nicknamed Chris, i.e. Chris musampa (Christmas hamper).
Frank Cowen, Manchester. FULhAm FC had a moroccan player, Abdeslam ouaddou, for two seasons. he was nicknamed Seaside, as in ‘ouaddou like to be beside the . . . !’
Tom Brown, London SW10. TWo of my favourite sporting nicknames are former Everton and man City defender Neil ‘Disa’ Pointon, and England rugby star Billy Twelvetrees — called Thirty-six (twelve threes).
Joe J. Cavanagh, London E7.
QUESTION Dr Beeching is blamed for closing down Britain’s railways. Is this fair?
ThoUGh Dr richard Beeching (191385) is widely reviled for closing many railway lines, it is not fair to blame him.
he became chairman of British railways in 1960 and left in 1965. he was appointed by Ernest marples, the hawkish minister of transport in the Conservative government. Beeching’s brief was to drag the nationalised railway system out of years of loss-making and into profit.
he did not close lines — he had no power to do so. his report The re-Shaping of British railways in 1963 identified lossmaking and duplicate routes, recommending their closure. It was marples who decided which ones to close or keep.
Under a later Labour administration, Barbara Castle did the same, but perhaps with more of a social conscience.
It was convenient for the politicians to let Beeching take the blame. The closing of unprofitable branch lines under nationalisation had begun at least a decade earlier and Beeching simply helped speed up the process.
The railways were making huge losses and, as well as recommending closing many lines, Beeching introduced far more efficient freight workings and much-needed modernisation.
In the Sixties, private car ownership boomed and people were turning away from the railways. Trains on some lines were running virtually empty. It was simply unsustainable.
In my opinion, as a lover of railways and steam engines, the real folly was in not retaining the trackbeds and bridges should the railway be needed again, as was done in many European countries.
It would have saved millions of pounds and a huge amount of effort when tracks have needed to be reinstated.
We have witnessed a railway renaissance and many lines that Beeching recommended for closure would now be profitable, but how could that have been forecast 55 years ago?
Roger Crawford, Meppershall, Beds.
QUESTION Has a theatre understudy ever gone on to outshine the main star?
FUrThEr to the earlier answer about the launch of the careers of Shirley maclaine and Anthony hopkins, the ultimate example in rock music must be Led Zeppelin.
In 1968, they went on their first U.S tour. The first gig was at the Denver auditorium in Colorado where they were the warm-up band for a group called Vanilla Fudge. A ticket would have set you back just five dollars.
Promoter Barry Fey recalled the band’s first U.S. show in his autobiography, Backstage Past: ‘The night of the concert, I get on stage to make the announcement to open the show. “Ladies and gentleman, please welcome, direct from England for their North America debut, Led Zeppelin!”
‘ There was a smattering of polite applause. Then robert Plant let it rip and everybody in the audience was stunned. You didn’t have to be a genius to know Zeppelin was going to be a smash. oh, my God. People were going crazy!’
John Murphy, Newton-le-Willows, Merseyside.
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