It ain’t half hard not to laugh . . .

THE recent death of Windsor Davies, known for his role as Sergeant Major Williams, brought back memories of my national service in 1954. When called up for my national service, I was very lucky that my father — who had served during the war — was able to show me all the military moves for when I did my basic training in Blandford, Dorset. One chap who wasn’t as lucky had no idea of drill and had trouble with his lefts and rights. One day in training he was standing next to me and, as expected, he made a few wrong moves and I ended up marching into him.

We were all stopped, turned right and stood there at attention. Sgt Major Flower marched up to this poor fellow and really gave him an earful; some of it very funny, and although I tried hard, I couldn’t stop a laugh. (In those days you could only move your eyes and toes!) He took a very smart move to his left to be in front of me, placed his cane under my nose, pressed it quite hard, and said: ‘Laddie, if you don’t waken your ideas up, I will stuff this stick up your nostrils and stir your grey matter.’ That made me laugh again and he put me on a charge. At the hearing, in front of the Officer Commanding, I was asked why I had laughed on parade and I told him what had been said. To my relief the OC laughed and he let me off! So no fatigues I am glad to say!

David Forrest, Gainsborough, Lincolnshire.