Ephraim Hardcastle
ROYAL chronicler Tim O’Donovan, whose breakdown of Royal engagements has appeared annually since 1979, discloses that the Queen once tried to halt the project thanks to unfavourable workload comparisons between her children and grandchildren. ‘The tabloids,’ states The New York Times, ‘seized on these statistics pitting the Royals against one another like prized greyhounds.’ He was asked to desist by the Dean of St George’s Chapel in Windsor on behalf of Buckingham Palace. ‘To address his worries,’ the NYT reveals, ‘O’Donovan added a clause saying the tables should not be used to stoke competition.’
DESPITE his list, O’Donovan, 87, is on speaking terms with the Queen, worshipping with her at St George’s Chapel. The retired insurance broker recalls turning up at church with a bandage on his head. He said: ‘The Queen warned me sternly, “You are never to go up a ladder again!”.’
THE entertaining sight of Newsnight anchor Emily Maitlis, pictured, contemptuously scribbling on a pad while enduring gaffeprone Labour frontbencher Barry Gardiner’s Brexit-related waffle proved a hit with viewers, prompting deputy Tory chairman James Cleverly to remark mischievously: ‘I really want to know what Emily is writing on her notepad.’ Emily is remaining tight-lipped. Answers on a postcard!
THE successor to Master of Mustique Colin Tennant as Lord Glenconner, his grandson Cody, 25, is seeking election to the House of Lords as an hereditary peer to the seat vacated on the death of Viscount Slim. Fingers crossed his Lordship fares better than he did with his grandfather’s will. Although he got a satisfactory settlement, a manservant trousered £22million while Cody got among other inherited chattels a stone phallus.
PROMOTERS of Barbra Streisand’s Hyde Park warble in July are bracing themselves for her list of diva demands, which last time obliged hotel staff to observe ‘American time’ because of jet lag. She also insisted on ‘freshly cut turf’ so her beloved Coton de Tulear dog Samantha could relieve herself on the balcony, as well as bespoke stairs so she could climb up to Streisand’s bed.
DAME Diana Rigg declines to name the director who inflicted a MeToo-type moment during her juvenile career. Fingers point to the late Sir Peter Hall, who directed Diana in the 1968 film A Midsummer Night’s Dream. She recalls: ‘I had this little slip of a cotton dress on, and I bought some woolly knickers to wear underneath. I was up a tree and I heard Peter Hall say, “Diana, take your knickers off!”’
THE Duchess of Cambridge was accused of being workshy when she pulled out of presenting St Patrick’s Day shamrocks to the Irish Guards in 2016. Prince William stepped in, breaking a 115-year-old tradition of female royals performing the role. Happily, Kate will be on Hibernian clover distribution duties on Sunday.