Cut out the cheese, Baptiste, if you want to survive another spin-off

The crime was solved, the loose ends had been tied and maverick French detective Julien Baptiste declared: ‘We’re safe.’ The only problem was there was still 20 minutes left to go on Baptise (BBC1) so it didn’t take the sharpest of armchair detectives to work out that a twist or hair-raising plot development was yet to come.

By the time the explosive scene arrived, the moment had been lost since the series finale had already demanded so much suspension of disbelief in the build-up.

Let’s put aside for a minute the fact that Baptiste didn’t work for the Dutch police and yet they still gave him unrestricted access to a murder and organised crime investigation in Amsterdam.

In the penultimate episode Baptise stumbled upon a voyeuristic oddball, a man who liked to stealthily install CCTV cameras in the town where he lived. At the time it seemed to have little relevance to the story.

But then, last night, Baptiste urgently needed to know about a conversation that happened in a petrol station lavatory — and what a stroke of luck that the village oddball had the very recording he needed.

her past as a human-trafficking mastermind exposed, trans character Kim Vogel was murdered. But, fortunately for Baptiste, she left behind a detailed book of codes that led him to the building where the underage girls were held. Another stroke of luck!

By the times the credits rolled the body count was through the roof and Baptiste had gained a son, taken a bullet and solved yet another murder case.

he’d also, bizarrely turned into something of a low-rent philosopher constantly uttering the sort of meaningless soundbites that populate social media.

‘We stumble and fall but we pick ourselves up and move on,’ he said to prostitute rescuer edward Stratton (played by the scenestealing Tom hollander).

Wasn’t it a little too soon to say something like that to a man who’d just had his father’s head sent to him in a box?

Detective Baptiste made his mark in The Missing and Tcheky Karyo is a charismatic and gifted actor, but he needs far more than a cheesy script and a plot full of holes if he’s going to survive another spin- off series. ‘Are you going to retire at last?’ asked edward Stratton of Baptiste. Oh, I think we all know the answer to that one.

While Baptiste had weak points, new BBC quiz show Catchpoint (BBC1) had no saving graces whatsoever.

Just when you thought quiz shows had been dumbed down as far as they possibly could, Catchpoint proved the bar could be lowered more. The twist on the picture-led quiz was that participants had to catch a falling ball as they answered a multiple-choice question. Giant picture screens displayed photographs and the contestant had to position themselves beside the right image.

In one round the players had to look at pictures of elton John and decide how he looked when he recorded Don’t Go Breaking My heart with Kiki Dee. Was he bald with big glasses? Did he have lots of hair and small glasses? Maybe a wig and no glasses?

The question would be answered (usually wrongly) and then a ball dropped from the ceiling. Just in case you missed any ball-dropping excitement, it was replayed in slow motion.

Catchpoint was hosted by comedian Paddy McGuinness. he’s a popular and quick-witted front man, but even he struggled to breathe life into the format.

Never mind the contestants, the BBC dropped an almighty ball in commissioning this. CHRISTOPHER STEVENS is away.