Matt’s straining at his bridle to join the race
The Prime Minister is entering the final furlong of her Premiership. The Brexit deadlock, we are told, has left her all raced out and ready for the weighing room.
As a close observer of the PM’s movements these past few weeks, to me she certainly looks done.
Following Monday’s vote to give Parliament control over Brexit, her grip on power hangs by her little finger. As Michael heseltine gleefully informed Radio 4 listeners yesterday, Mrs May is now ‘leader in name only’.
Old Stab in The Back never misses an opportunity to wield the dagger does he?
Jockeying for position to be the next Tory leader is in full view in the parade ring. You all know the drill. Cosy chitchats in the Commons tea room; discreet whispers behind the Speaker’s chair; late-night billets-doux over social media chatrooms.
Of the runners and riders, quickest out of the starting gate will be those zealous stallions Jeremy hunt, Sajid Javid and Boris Johnson, though the last of these may require gelding if he is to stay the course.
Punters, however, should disregard the early running. As Mrs May will attest, leadership contests are about stayers not sprinters, although she eventually became leader as the result of a onehorse race.
With that in mind, might flashy young colt Matthew hancock ( pictured below) be worth a small flutter at the local turf accountant?
In a Cabinet deeply split over Brexit, the health Secretary has placated both Brexiteers and Remainers with the deftness of a grand high vizier.
SLOWLY but surely, he has become the Government’s safe pair of hands. Muttonchopped england wicketkeeper Godfrey evans in Velcro mitts.
In these peculiar times, it is not as ludicrous as it sounds. As the bookie’s form guide might advise of 40-yearold hancock: ‘Wouldn’t be one to write off totally.’
he would be straining at the bridle just for the chance. Ambition pumps through his unsullied arteries like cortisone. Yesterday, at health Questions, he spoke with that grating energy of the class swot. lazy night-before revisers will all know the sort. he’s one of those smug so-andsos who arrive at exams a bundle of energy and emerge gloating like a wellfed bulldog afterwards.
he awaited each question perched impatiently on the edge of his seat, eager as a new puppy waiting for a stick to be thrown.
Requests were met with treacly enthusiasm. ‘I’d be dee-liiighted to meet with my honourable friend,’ he gushed. ‘Yes, I would luvvv to hear ideas about helping children lead healthier lives.’
he smiled, he swivelled, he raised his arm aloft in the manner of a magician who’s just sawn his long-suffering assistant’s torso in two. ‘Behold! The great hancock has spoken!’
ONE minute, he was paying tribute to former shadow minister Justin Madders (lab, ellesmere Port and neston) who recently resigned over his party’s backing for a second referendum (‘he was such a force – and a rare force – for reason and progress on the Opposition Front Bench…’). The next, showing off the raffish purple socks he was wearing in honour of World epilepsy Day. ‘Tiggerish, isn’t he?’ Catherine McKinnell (lab, newcastle upon Tyne north) asked no-one in particular. If this is a Government totally zapped of fizz and morale, someone clearly forgot to inform Mr hancock. Toward the end of the session, there was a question from Greg hands (Con, Chelsea and Fulham), who wished to ask about Charing Cross hospital. The previous evening, Speaker Bercow had chided Mr hands for an interruption, describing him patronisingly as a former whip ‘and not a very good one’. After much complaining, Bercow issued a truculent apology. Yesterday, he offered a more fulsome one. he had good reason to be feeling generous. For MPs will today begin voting on alternatives to Mrs May’s Brexit deal. Pro-eU Mr Bercow will decide which preferences MPs choose from. expect a slew of soft-soap suggestions to be put before the house. Despite Tigger hancock’s optimism, a Remainer coup is getting near full gallop.