Ephraim Hardcastle
WITH the identity of No 10’s next occupant such a hot topic, who will the Queen send for when Theresa May falls on her sword? Traditionally it’s the deputy PM, but Mrs May failed to officially appoint her de-facto number two David Lidington. In theory, one of the holders of the three great offices of state should then get the nod, putting Chancellor Hammond, Home Secretary Javid and Foreign Secretary Hunt in the frame. Her Majesty will rely on Mrs May’s direction, but it could go awry. In 1963 outgoing PM Harold Macmillan endorsed Alec Douglas-Home, not his deputy Rab Butler.
GLAD-HANDING in Cuba, Prince Charles hasn’t had to wear any of the multifarious regimental and organisational lapel badges and ties required on trips to Commonwealth countries, rendering his Travelling Yeoman redundant. he was kept busy on the Prince’s Australian trip last year prompting a local politician to wonder if ‘Travelling Yeoman’ was a Tom Petty tribute band.
CHERIE Blair’s vexed remarks about rape and African women haven’t diminished her chances of joining the Reform Club, with an overflowing page of members’ signatures supporting her bid. As a member she’ll be in lofty company, with club jester Jim Davidson already clearing his throat to welcome her.
PREPOSTEROUSLY-COIFFURED Tory Brexiteer Michael Fabricant’s explanation for finally supporting Theresa’s Brexit deal prompts a waggish tweet: ‘If we do end up leaving the EU, will Michael Fabricant’s hairpiece be allowed its own passport or need to be quarantined?’
LIZ Hurley, 53, pictured this week looking bewitching in an updated version of her 1994 Versace gown, admits she doesn’t know the whereabouts of the original, saying: ‘It’s in a museum somewhere.’ A location that Liz, described as ‘the SAS of beauty’, will not be consigned to anytime soon.
DAVID hare, screenwriter of the rudolf Nureyev biopic The White Crow, compares the russian ballet dancer to roger Federer, saying: ‘Anyone who knows Nureyev knows he worked harder than any other dancer – just like roger Federer worked harder than any other tennis player.’ Steady, we don’t want rog pirouetting in tights at Wimbledon.
BRIAN MacArthur’s obituary in The Times recalls the reaction of publisher Rupert Murdoch when told that Lord Dacre had confessed the Hitler Diaries were a hoax: ‘Publish,’ he declared. According to Brian, what Murdoch actually said was: ‘F*** Dacre. Publish.’
KIWI actor Sam Neill heard about the Christchurch mosque atrocity on the radio as he sat in the back of a taxi en route to his brother’s house in Auckland. he recalls: ‘I was in floods of tears and was comforted by my Muslim taxi driver.’