Ephraim Hardcastle

AFFABLE banker Tom Kingston, 41, is clearly so distracted with arranging his Windsor wedding next month to Lady Gabriella Windsor, 37, that he has overlooked a trifling £375 fine for late filing of accounts with Companies House. My clerk with the abacus says the accounts for IDC Securities were presented late, adding: ‘Debt collectors were informed.’ MOST senior royals follow Prince Charles’s example and run for cover when Chinese grand fromages visit the UK, leaving Prince Andrew as the go-to royal for Beijing luminaries. But Andrew was absent in Bahrain last week when the governor of Hunan province fetched up in London. Princess Anne stood in, delaying her departure to Newmarket for a meeting of the Animal Health Trust. DESPITE the eternity of Brexit, BBC political editor Laura Kuenssberg, 42, pictured, works only a four-day week, according to her boss Katy Searle. But should Katy, head of the Beeb’s Westminster office, have added: ‘I try to protect Laura at weekends. I say, “I need to rest the racehorse” ’? Neigh, neigh, a thousand times neigh! DEMANDING a second referendum, Peter (Lord) Mandelson was unembarrassed when BBC Today’s Martha Kearney replayed his 2016 mantra, ‘This is a once-and-for-all decision’, weasling: ‘But people were not asked to embrace a very painful hard Brexit.’ With a £31,000 pension, ex-EU commissioner Mandy will never say boo to Brussels. PART-TIME Portugal resident Madonna, 60, fumes at the ban on her bringing a thoroughbred horse into Sintra’s historic Quinta Nova de Assuncao palace for a music video because its weight might do damage, whining: ‘I have given so much to this country and when I ask for a simple favour, the answer I get is negative.’ Considering previous videos feature bondage, S&M and same-sex smooching, the Iberian wallahs might know something we don’t. JACOB Rees-Mogg, 49, says under-fire Channel 4 newscaster Jon Snow is a ‘fair and good’ interviewer, adding: ‘He came to a drinks party once. One of my children opened the door, saw him, and ran in saying: “Nanny, it’s that Lefty off the telly!” ’ GLASWEGIAN actress Kelly MacDonald, 43, tells Radio Times she relished enacting Princess Margaret’s spurious affair with Mick Jagger in Sky’s Urban Myths series, saying: ‘Lots of smoking and swearing and being drunk. And burping. Our version of her life is very fun. It’s not The Crown.’ APPEARING in a bizarre BBC2 documentary about dying, well-nourished Miriam Margolyes, 77, finds fitting into her coffin a tight squeeze, saying: ‘I will have to diet! But I’m going to leave my organs to science.’ Let’s hope the boffins don’t contest the will, Miriam!