Daily Mail

How about a nice game of Scrable? *

Board game played with several letters missing

- Craig Brown www.dailymail.co.uk/craigbrown

The new edition of the Oxford english Dictionary contains regional words such as ‘jibbons’, which is Welsh for spring onions, ‘sitooterie’, which is Scottish for a place in which to sit out, and ‘yat’, derived from the greeting in New Orleans, ‘Where y’at?’ Time, once more, for another instalment of my Dictionary of New Words.

Seasonal Affected Disorder: state of flamboyant pretension most commonly associated with the Paris fashion week at the end of September. Secloosion: the comforting feeling of being alone to perform your ablutions. Self-suffishent: a lone angler. Seminaaarg­h: small group of students, meeting to discuss topics for which none of them has prepared. Semioticks: the study of signs and symbols of approval. Semerrerre­rrphore: a system of sending unclear messages by holding two flags and then wondering what to do next. Sequin-tuplets: five siblings dressed for a night out on the town. Shallittle: small shallot. Shamigo: bogus friend. ‘ By all accounts, The Spice Girls are five shamigos.’ Shamusemen­t arcade: indoor area equipped with slot machines designed to induce a mood of generalise­d disappoint­ment. ‘I’m just nipping down to the shamusemen­t arcade. I’m planning on losing a minimum of £5.25 in the space of ten minutes.’ Shamyl nitrate: colourless liquid which, when inhaled, does nothing at all. Shandy Town: a deprived area consisting of large numbers of people drinking a weak mixture of lemonade and lager Shangri- Larder: an imaginary food-store attached to a kitchen. Shedenfreu­de: pleasure derived from the collapse of your neighbour’s garden hut. ‘When I saw the wreck at the bottom of Fred’s garden, my heart filled with shedenfreu­de.’ Shiatsue: Japanese legal therapy in which pressure is applied by lawyers to all parts of the body. Shelfie: photograph taken of a length of wood just after it has been attached to a wall. Shenunigan­s: mischief within a religious community. ‘ From what I hear, there were plenty of shenunigan­s at the convent last night.’ Shush Kebab: skewered pieces of marinated meat so chewy they render the eater unable to speak. Showgull: seabird trained to sing and dance in musicals, variety acts and similar shows, often wearing next to nothing. Siestaday: snooze taken 24 hours ago. Simulacrum­b: an image or representa­tion of a fragment of biscuit. Siphone: telephonic receiver equipped for the push-button delivery of fizzy drinks. Skatebard: A short, narrow board with a poet balancing on

top of it. Skunkle: older male relation known for his unfortunat­e body odour. Slobotomy: operation designed to make couch potatoes feel more active.

Slobserve: to look at something with your feet up while eating burgers and popcorn.

Smock alarm: a device that automatica­lly detects the approach of Morris Men and delivers advance warning of their presence. Smorgasbor­ed: tired range of delicacies served in a buffet-style arrangemen­t. ‘The smorgasbor­ed failed to enliven the evening.’ Sociabull: horned quadruped with a wide circle of friends. Solermmmmn: lengthy hesitation mistaken for seriousnes­s. Spambulanc­e: emergency mobile provider of tinned meat. Spellchuck: falty computor program for word corection. Spokespars­on: public representa­tive of the Church of england. Sporadig: occasional bout of gardening. ‘ every third Tuesday, he would leave the house for two minutes to go out for a sporadig.’ Squiggull: badly drawn seabird. Scrable: board game played despite letters missing. ‘ Fancy a game of Scrable, anyone?’ Squishue: Soft topic put up for general discussion in order to prevent arguments breaking out. ‘That’s enough Brexit for now. Let’s stick to the squishues.’

 ??  ??
 ??  ??

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from United Kingdom