Spare us the shades of grey

Forget the pink and the blue and the colourful mobiles, grey is now the most popular colour in baby nursery home decor. What more proof do you need that it’s all about the selfish parents, not about the welfare of the little children?

Poor little grubs, growing up in a monochrome prison of dreary asphalt and elephant paint shades.

their little buggy eyes must yearn for something bright to alight upon, but they have to realise mummy and daddy’s good taste must come first.

John Lewis has reported that the paint trends for the nursery of 2019 finds parents opting for neutral shades in grey and cream. Naturally, Harry and Meghan (them again) are bang on trend.

they are using expensive Auro paints to decorate the nursery at Frogmore. A ten-litre pot of the german brand paint costs £120 — several times the price of Dulux. However, it doesn’t smell, isn’t toxic and it breaks down pollutants, too.

even the names of the colours are marvellous. Have the royals gone for Wood Spurge, Constance Spry, Meconopsis or Yorkshire Fog grass? How about Mind Your own Business? Not being rude, it’s another paint name, for a lovely pastel brown.