Has Queen Bee Oprah bagged the royal baby rights, too?
Are you thinking what she’s thinking?
One’s eyebrows were raised in delicate arcs when Oprah Winfrey turned up at the Royal Wedding last year, sailing through Windsor like a flamingo-pink galleon, with a spray of matching feathers atop her crow’s nest.
Who even knew she was friends with Meghan and/or Prince Harry, let alone close enough to be invited to the nuptials? If she and Meghan had grown chummy, it must have been one of those ongoing speed dates of intense mutual benefit.
For had America’s talk- show queen even heard of suits actress Meghan Markle during all those years she was an aspiring star in the U.s.? Had she ever invited her on the Oprah show in those pre-Harry days?
Don’t be silly. Of course not. Yet, during the ceremony in st George’s Chapel, Oprah was seated in the choir, where family and close friends gather. Top billing, as always.
Many imagined that Oprah was on manoeuvres to nab the first television interview with the newly minted Duchess of sussex — and why not? Ingratiating herself with international celebrities is what Oprah does for a living. she had already been photographed visiting Meghan’s mother, Doria Ragland. What was going on there?
However, this week, we learned that she had her eyes on a much bigger prize all along: Prince Harry himself. It has been announced that he is to partner Oprah on a new global series for Apple TV, focusing on mental health issues and something called ‘mental wellness’, whatever that might be.
‘I truly believe that good mental health — mental fitness — is the key to powerful leadership, productive communities and a purpose-driven self,’ said the Duke of sussex this week, another ominous tootle on his twaddle trumpet.
DOES this signify the final Oprahfication of Prince Harry? That’s what it looks like from my seat on the cynic sofa.
Oprah is one of the biggest media moguls in the world, with a personal fortune that stretches into the billions.
Her television scalps include sarah Ferguson in 2010, Michelle Obama and Madonna, all at crucial moments in their lives, and her style of confessional interviews changed American broadcasting for ever.
Her homespun brand of half-boiled new Age spirituality, spiked with neoliberal politics and inspirational hokum, plays well with fridge-magnet philosophers such as Harry and Meghan. Turn your wounds into wisdom. The whole point of being alive is to evolve into the complete person you were intended to be. Live the life of your dreams.
Out there on the weird, new seam of celebrity royalty they seem to have invented for themselves, Harry and Meghan love all this stuff. Adore it! The Duke has been snapped up as if he were
just ust another hot actor celebrating a big movie hit, while the Duchess has retired behind the kind of Hollywood embargo that usually signifies a top- secret project starring Julia Roberts.
Yesterday, the sussexes announced that they will be rather coy about the imminent birth of their child. Welcome to not The nine O’ Clock news. nothing to see here.
Although ‘very grateful for the goodwill they have received’, the couple have taken a decision to keep the plans and details around the arrival of their baby private. There will be some grudging specifics about medical personnel in attendance, bouncing baby weight and the actual date of birth — then the shutters will slam down.
There will be no photographs for at least a few days, because Harry and Meghan want to celebrate privately, as a new family.
Is it too awful to suggest that perhaps they also need time to art- direct the first tasteful monochrome photoshoot of Baby sussex swaddled in soho House cashmere and then upload it to their Instagram account?
While a new baby is a deeply personal and private event, a royal baby is also a totem of national celebration, a beacon of British joy.
There is also huge public interest in the sussex birth, from emotionally invested people who only want to share in Harry and Meghan’s happiness and wish them well. Yet their gratification must be delayed in this unusual manipulation of events.
I totally understand why Meghan doesn’t want the horror of the Lindo Wing appearance. With the Kay Burleys and the barely coherent royal superfans, the hundreds of cameras and that honking town crier, it has turned into something of a terrifying circus.
Fair enough that they want to do things their own way, even if it does seem just a little rude to smother this wonderful moment in a layer of exclusion and exclusivity. I mean, deep inside their Frogmore estate, how much more private can it be?
It’s not as if Meghan is going to be bothered by gossips when she nips down to the Windsor branch of Tesco express for a reviving box of postpartum Kit Kats. Or that Harry might feel embarrassed if he was caught changing nappies.
What is the point of royals unless we can celebrate their baby royals in a totally bonkers British orgy of bunting, popping corks and knitted booties? Two or three days later, it just won’t be the same.
Perhaps Oprah has snapped up the exclusive first-look baby rights? I wouldn’t put it past her. Or them.