Daily Mail

Challenge of having a child who’s brainier than you

All these girls have such high IQs they’ve been accepted into Mensa. But, say their bewildered parents, it’s not all a blessing...

- By Sadie Nicholas

YOU might imagine that Mensa, the largest and oldest high IQ society in the world, is the exclusive preserve of esteemed professors and scientists.

Yet the organisati­on recently welcomed its second youngest member, four-year- old Alannah George, who has an IQ — which stands for intelligen­ce quota — of 140.

Currently there are about 20,000 members of this ‘club’, whose entry requires members to rank in the top two per cent of the population on an approved IQ test. And 60 of them are aged six and under.

‘The youngest current member is three, although we have had children as young as two-and-a-half in the past,’ says Ann Clarkson, a spokespers­on for Mensa. ‘ The testing process is different for very young children.

‘Those aged under ten-and-a-half are accepted on the basis of a psychologi­sts’ report as they have a much wider range of assessment tools available to them, and assess children on a one-to-one basis.’

There’s no one standard test for younger children and they might be tested on spatial awareness, spelling, verbal skills, logic, puzzles and maths ability appropriat­e for their age. Ann adds: ‘The report is sent to our supervisor­y psychologi­st to verify that both the test used and its conclusion­s show that the child is within the top two per cent.’ And once you’re a Mensa member, you’re in for life! But far from wearing their children’s Mensa status like a badge of honour (and as something to brag about in the school playground) parents of these little brainiacs insist membership is an essential means of supporting their youngster’s academic needs. Here, we meet four mini Mensans and their deservedly proud mums.

NURSERY TEACHERS HADN’T COME ACROSS A CHILD LIKE HER BEFORE

NATALIE Morgan-Dew, 32, owns an aerial dance studio, and lives in Herefordsh­ire with husband Ben, 41, an IT technician, and their daughter Ophelia, four. She says: OPHELIA spoke her first words aged eight months, and knew her colours, numbers and the alphabet by her second birthday.

She also has an astonishin­g memory, even recalling things that happened before she was a year old. But it was when she started at nursery in January 2018 that we realised she was quite advanced — she’d been able to write her name independen­tly since she was two, while other little ones were only just being taught how to trace letters.

When she started nursery it was quite hard because, although the staff were aware she is advanced, they’d never experience­d it before. Nursery is more about social integratio­n for the children, which is why I thought an assessment and Mensa membership may help.

Out of curiosity I Googled ‘ gifted children’ and recognised many of the key traits in Ophelia, including that she’s had an imaginary friend since she was 18 months old and socialises better with adults.

Although Ben and I are both reasonably intelligen­t — I’ve got a degree in design and Ben’s got a highly mathematic­al brain — we certainly don’t have IQs like hers and weren’t sure how best to support Ophelia.

last July, aged three years and ten months, Ophelia was accepted as a Mensa member after we spent almost £1,000 having her assessed by a top educationa­l psychologi­st in london, who used the Stanford-Binet test, which evaluates children in areas like spatial awareness, verbal skills and logic. Her IQ is 171, which means she has a special need and requires extra attention the same way a child with a disability does. We hoped Mensa membership will ensure this sort of support.

We kept her IQ quiet for a while, fearful that others may think we were being boastful or pushy. eventually I reasoned that if Ophelia had won a gold medal in gymnastics or a race on sports day we’d have been celebratin­g her triumphs.

I’m always pleased for other parents when their children achieve great things, so why shouldn’t I shout a little louder about my daughter? I honestly haven’t witnessed any signs of jealousy or resentment. I only ever discuss it with close friends anyway, who know Ophelia.

She doesn’t start school until next September and has a private tutor at weekends to help satisfy her natural urge to progress with reading, writing and numbers.

As she gets older, we’ll support her in whatever she’s interested in. Our main focus now is that she is happy.

Despite her high IQ, Ophelia’s just a normal little girl, who loves drawing pictures, playing with her friends, jumping in puddles and riding her scooter.

I COMPARE NOTES WITH OTHER MENSA MUMS

SARAH Holley, 31, is a manager for a child psychology company and lives in Sussex with her husband, who works in finance, and their children Elsie, five, and Henry, three. She says: ELSIE only turned five last September, but she’s teaching herself the periodic table, made a poster last weekend about iron — including its atomic number — and reads chapters of Roald Dahl’s Matilda unaided, which the Book Trust recommends for children aged eight and over.

She also regales us with details about owls, or the solar system.

But she’s basically just a normal, loving, sociable girl with lots of friends, who adores Winnie The pooh, Barbie, and Hatchimals, but happens to be extremely bright.

I remember sitting in a café with her when she was one and she suddenly started reading out the letters that were stencilled on the window. I reasoned that she’d picked it up from children’s TV.

But aged 18 months we could have a full conversati­on with her and by two-and-a-half she could write her own name.

Still, I only looked into having elsie formally tested last summer after my husband recorded a segment from the Victoria Derbyshire show about an academical­ly gifted little girl and suggested I watched it

last August, when elsie was four years and 11 months old, she was assessed by an educationa­l psy

chologist recommende­d by Mensa. When we were told she’s in the 98th percentile — meaning she is highly intelligen­t — we applied for her to become a member of Mensa, and joined Potential Plus, an independen­t charity supporting children with high learning potential.

Everyone we’ve told has been really supportive. But it’s really useful being able to chat to other Mensa parents online about the challenges, such as finding ageappropr­iate books for advanced readers who are still so young.

For example, we read Roald Dahl’s The BFG with Elsie a few weeks ago but it gave her nightmares, as she’s still very little, despite her intelligen­ce — which is important to remember.

Mensa told us Elsie’s high IQ is likely to be genetic. My mum sat her O-levels early and her mother got into a specialist grammar school in London.

My son, Henry, is showing traits that point towards a high IQ, but we won’t have him tested until he’s older as he’s more interested in climbing and running around, unlike Elsie who wanted to sit and learn when she was three.

WE’RE PROUD — BUT SLIGHTLY TERRIFIED

MARYA Lord Lancaster, 39, is a private carer and lives in Essex with her husband Nick, 36, a proof reader, and their daughter Lillyan, six. She says: WHEN we were told Lillyan has an IQ of 158 and is ‘profoundly gifted’ I burst into tears. It all felt so daunting. We’d no idea how to handle it.

As parents, you know what to do if your child is struggling at the other end of the spectrum — but this was truly unpreceden­ted. The psychologi­st recommende­d we applied to Mensa for support and six weeks later Lillyan was accepted. We’re incredibly proud of her but we play it down, worried that people can interpret pride as bragging when we’re not like that.

There were lots of things she seemed to do early, such as being able to sign at nine months old, and count to over 200 just after her second birthday. But as an only child we didn’t have anything to compare it to. When she was three we enrolled her at a Montessori kindergart­en and said we thought she may be advanced. Five weeks later, they admitted they’d never seen a child quite like her. She could count out of sequence, knew her odd and even numbers, and had a real fascinatio­n with the planets and astronomy.

We’ve never pushed her, but if she’s shown an interest in something we’ve bought wall charts, such as the solar system and, recently, the periodic table, which she now knows off by heart.

It was mind blowing and although we were incredibly proud, we were also slightly terrified because we had no idea what to do next.

Concerned that she may be on the autistic spectrum because being exceptiona­lly advanced can sometimes be a sign, I took her to the health visitor when she was three- and- a- half and we were referred to a paediatric­ian, who reassured us that Lillyan is extremely bright.

In October 2017, two weeks before her fifth birthday, we paid £750 for her to be tested by a recognised assessor working for Potential Plus, so that we could better understand her needs.

She adores role play with her toys. I love listening to her, pretending her teddies and dolls are competing in the Olympics, or that they’re all working in a cotton mill — she loves history and learning about monarchies from around the world.

now six, she’s in year two at Catholic primary school, a year ahead of where she should be.

Most important, she’s got lots of friends and is a happy, sociable and kind little girl who loves helping others and just happens to be academical­ly gifted.

OTHER PEOPLE THINK I’M A PUSHY PARENT

NADINE George, 37, is a part- time business analyst. Husband Edmund, 39, is a management consultant, and they have two children Alannah, four, and Ethan, two. The family lives in Buckingham­shire. Alannah has an IQ of 140 and in February became the second-youngest member of Mensa. Nadine says: ALANNAH lives and breathes sums and letters and would rather watch Endless numbers, a children’s educationa­l series, on YouTube than Peppa Pig.

She could recite the alphabet at 18 months old and by her second birthday she had taught herself to read. At first, I just assumed she’d got an outstandin­g memory or was simply ahead for her age.

However, I started to monitor her milestones more closely — the average ages at which children learn basic sums, counting, and reading — and realised the gaps between her and her peers was widening.

So in January, we had her assessed by top educationa­l psychologi­st Dr Peter Congdon.

He used the Wechsler Preschool And Primary Scale Of Intelligen­ce, which involves several tests including spelling, mental arithmetic and puzzles, spread over two hours.

He concluded that Alannah is ‘ intellectu­ally gifted and of superior general intelligen­ce’ with an IQ of 140.

Of course it made us proud, but most important, it’s helped us to understand how Alannah ticks.

We know her strengths — such as arithmetic — and areas we need to play closer attention to, for example keeping her inquisitiv­e mind challenged.

Learning is her idea of fun and she loves her school, St George’s School at Windsor Castle, once attended by Princess Eugenie and Prince Edward’s two children. The teachers are very good at adjusting her learning to keep her challenged and engaged.

There are downsides to having such a bright child. Some people assume we’re pushy parents and others accuse me of bragging. But you can’t teach an IQ — it reflects learning capacity and potential, not achievemen­t.

In fact, my parenting style is very laid back and one reason I’m speaking out is to help other mums who recognise traits of a high IQ in their own children because it’s a real worry when you don’t know where to turn.

My husband and I are academic — I have a chemistry degree from Imperial College, London, and he has a PhD in biochemica­l engineerin­g from UCL — but we weren’t sure how to best help Alannah, which is where Mensa comes in.

When Alannah’s not reading or doing sums, she’s a regular fouryear-old girl and her friends don’t see her as being any different.

 ??  ?? Literate: Elsie Holley, five, could write aged two-and-a-half
Literate: Elsie Holley, five, could write aged two-and-a-half
 ??  ?? Mensa member: Ophelia Morgan-Dew, four
Mensa member: Ophelia Morgan-Dew, four
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 ??  ?? Towering intellect: Lillyan Lord Lancaster, six (with her mum Marya) knows the periodic table by heart. Right: Fouryear-old Alannah George taught herself to read
Towering intellect: Lillyan Lord Lancaster, six (with her mum Marya) knows the periodic table by heart. Right: Fouryear-old Alannah George taught herself to read
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