The only value in this nasty show ... it’s a lesson in how not to live
More than ever before in broadcasting history, some shows are just nasty. That’s the point of them. Tedious Left-wing ranter Frankie Boyle’s puerile panel show New World order is a poisonous example. each week, after churning out a couple of minutes of monologue, mostly obscene sneers at people in showbiz whom he doesn’t like, Boyle hands over to a pack of media pundits who behave like bored students in a pub — spouting Karl Marx and swearing.
It’s like watching the real-life Young ones . . . without the satire, the scripted wit, the talent, the originality or the anarchy.
other shows have a different sort of nastiness. It’s hard to imagine who could want to watch, let alone appear in, Old Wife, New Wife (C5) — a reality documentary that sent a feckless dad and his teenage girlfriend to live with his ex and their three-year-old son, Leo, for a week.
Struggling single mum Laura, 33, wanted Leo’s father Cyren to help with childcare and finances, but she was terrified of losing her little boy. She told the camera that Cyren had been taunting her by text, saying that new girlfriend Meaghan, 19, would be the perfect stepmum, ‘a million times better than you’.
It’s necessary to be cautious around formats like this, both
SKY SPY OF THE NIGHT: The satellites on Earth From Space (BBC1) looked down on hairynosed wombats in Australia, Amazonian manatees in Brazil, and otters herding fish into nets in Bangladesh. What bizarre things an astronaut can see.
because these are real people’s lives and because we can’t always tell how much is set up or exaggerated for the screen. Both of the women sounded painfully stilted at times, as if they were reciting lines.
But some of the dialogue seemed very raw and revealing. Laura told Cyren: ‘You’ve called me fat, you’ve called me ugly, you’ve destroyed my self- esteem.’ He admitted to being ‘tactless’ and then implied the comments were her own fault, because she hadn’t warned him how she would react.
The only possible value in the series is as a teaching aid. Show this episode to GCSe pupils and get them asking questions.
Is it acceptable for a father to avoid paying maintenance because he says he has no money? Is it alarming to see a grown man walk into a room where two women are sitting and immediately accuse them of talking about him? And most glaring of all, should we shrug and say nothing when a man, apparently in his 30s, leaves his family to live with a 19-year-old?
If this programme has any worth at all, it will be in helping other young people to wake up before making the same mistakes.
The constant mistake on The Customer Is Always Right (BBC1) is a basic one. This producttesting show keeps giving gadgets to people who have no use for them whatever, and then wonders why they can’t be bothered to review them properly.
of the five couples who opened a box with a GPS tracking collar for cats, only one actually owned a moggie . . . and he was a tubby fluffball who never strayed beyond the conservatory door.
The other consumer judges tried wearing the collar as a wristband or a dog- walking accessory. one didn’t even take the trouble to charge it up first.
other innovations included wooden camping cutlery, and gel pads for ill-fitting high heels. None of the testers had the least use for any of them.
This daytime series is based on Gogglebox, but that’s successful because everyone watches telly.
Most people don’t have cats that perform a regular disappearing act but, if you do, a GPS collar might be worth the tenner a month its inventor was charging.
Does it work? The show failed to find out.