Is it just ME? Or is the return of plastic shoes the pits?

OH, NO! They’re doing it to us again. Fashion is having another plastic shoe moment.

Kim Kardashian, Bella Hadid and Rihanna have all worn boots and sandals made from clear vinyl on the red carpet, while Twilight actress Kristen Stewart rocked a pair of Chanel’s clear It-boots.

And you know what that means? Foot rot, blisters, bunions and fungal infections. A Petri dish of shame.

If you lived through the Nineties (the era of jelly shoes) or, worse, acquired a Crocs habit, you will recognise the signs. With a plastic shoe, you don’t have flexibility. The lack of shock absorption can even give you joint problems.

Jellies are fine on children with their lovely, unblemished feet, but, at our age, you really don’t want your trotters on display in a goldfish bowl.

Plastic shoes have ruined my life. I’ve spent days in Boots searching for wound dressings to repair split heels and chafed toes. The new ‘naked shoes’ are not for a morning commute or a dash to the shops.

As for Yeezy’s thighhigh boots (designed by Kanye West, husband of the aforementioned Kim), they make your legs look like oven-ready chicken drumsticks.

I get it. Fashion is always on the lookout for a new erogenous zone. And plastic has a sci-fi feel. But it ain’t breathable, it ain’t eco and it certainly ain’t cool.

Feet get clammy, podiatrists warn us; they slip and sweat in plastic. And then there’s the visible condensation — unkindly termed ‘shoe fog’ by Vogue.

The style bible suggests teaming naked shoes with ankle socks. Stop right there! No woman over 50 wants to look like an ageing Cinderella in socks and jellies. My feet are going into purdah this summer.

Plastic shoes mean foot rot, blisters and fungal infections. A Petri dish of shame