Goodbye, Pike, you stupid boy

so FAREWELL, Gavin Williamson, who has left office just as he entered it; on the crest of a wave of stupidity that would put even Private Pike to shame.

‘I swear on my children’s lives it wasn’t me,’ he said, after being accused of a National security Council leak.

swearing on his children’s lives? What a terrible, idiotic thing for a father to say. A response that is meaningless, without merit and also cruel — what must his family think?

they are not his lives to gamble away, for a start. Yet perhaps this is the kind of playground utterance we should expect from this shallow blowhard. He is a former fireplace salesman who always fancied himself as a big player.

He was reputed to have said of mrs may: ‘I made her, I can break her.’ And he was once overheard in a mayfair restaurant boasting about his links with the DUP and how he could outmanoeuvre Jeremy Hunt and sajid Javid in any contest for the Pm’s job.

Well, not any longer mr Williams. Ya boo sucks to you, as he would probably say himself.