Rescued puss with very refined ways
Regarding my recent adoption I need to make something quite clear; Be assured that I do have the option Of leaving if I hate it here. I am high-born and posh, but you saw that When you came to the shelter today, Not a moggie, I am a refined cat — Accept this and do things my way. I see that my quarters are seedy In your very small mid-terrace house, With no wish to appear that I’m needy I’ll require room to, err, swing a mouse. I prefer roasted meats for my dinner With a large dish of cream on the side, I have no wish to grow any thinner So biscuits all day please provide. I see there are other cat boarders; A rather rough lot it would seem. Let them know I’ll be giving them orders; I believe in a disciplined team. And my bed, of course, I will be choosing, I’ve been used to duck feathers and silk, Do not interrupt when I’m snoozing — Just leave me a dish of fresh milk. When you call me, remember I’m Roger, Not Wodgie or Kitty or Puss, I am not just a common old codger Nor should you assume I’m a wuss. As for sitting on laps — you’ll be lucky, I am not up for such baby stuff; A cat such as me finds it yucky, If that’s disappointing — well, tough. I think that should just about do it. Follow these regulations and rules And it’s likely you might well get through it Unless I am dealing with fools. What’s that? Time for dinner, you’re saying? Well I’m blowed — roasted chicken I smell. Don’t be silly, of course, I’ll be staying Am I leaving tonight? Am I hell! Jeannie Sloman, Bedford.