Res­cued puss with very re­fined ways

Daily Mail - - Letters -

Re­gard­ing my re­cent adop­tion I need to make some­thing quite clear; Be as­sured that I do have the op­tion Of leav­ing if I hate it here. I am high-born and posh, but you saw that When you came to the shel­ter to­day, Not a mog­gie, I am a re­fined cat — Ac­cept this and do things my way. I see that my quar­ters are seedy In your very small mid-ter­race house, With no wish to ap­pear that I’m needy I’ll re­quire room to, err, swing a mouse. I pre­fer roasted meats for my din­ner With a large dish of cream on the side, I have no wish to grow any thin­ner So bis­cuits all day please pro­vide. I see there are other cat board­ers; A rather rough lot it would seem. Let them know I’ll be giv­ing them or­ders; I be­lieve in a dis­ci­plined team. And my bed, of course, I will be choos­ing, I’ve been used to duck feath­ers and silk, Do not in­ter­rupt when I’m snooz­ing — Just leave me a dish of fresh milk. When you call me, re­mem­ber I’m Roger, Not Wodgie or Kitty or Puss, I am not just a com­mon old codger Nor should you as­sume I’m a wuss. As for sit­ting on laps — you’ll be lucky, I am not up for such baby stuff; A cat such as me finds it yucky, If that’s dis­ap­point­ing — well, tough. I think that should just about do it. Fol­low these reg­u­la­tions and rules And it’s likely you might well get through it Un­less I am deal­ing with fools. What’s that? Time for din­ner, you’re say­ing? Well I’m blowed — roasted chicken I smell. Don’t be silly, of course, I’ll be stay­ing Am I leav­ing tonight? Am I hell! Jean­nie Slo­man, Bed­ford.

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