... AND NOW

around at night to knock on the cabin door to serve your complimentary nightcap.

‘Whisky or brandy, madam?’ they would say. How civilised. Still, progress means we have more comfort and less pain, give or take the loss of charm.

Yes, the Carstairs shunt is more of a gentle bump — that really is progress — and you can even have a shower in your room, can you imagine!

So back in my cabin, I get in the shower cubicle, switch on the tap and wait to experience the latest in luxury train travel.

Except there is no water. Of course there isn’t. I should have known.