IN MANDOLIN

Wind, Rod Stewart sang about the coldest winter in almost 14 years. Now, thanks to climate change, he might have to rewrite the lyrics. Instead of buffaloes dying in the frozen fields, there’ll be polar bears dying on the melting ice caps. Mind you, we’ve just had the coldest May bank holiday in over 40 years. That’ll be the global warming, then. And there was me worrying about developing skin cancer in my deckchair over the weekend. Not that the alarmists will ever admit that the threat of the Earth catching fire next week may be somewhat exaggerated. Whatever the evidence, they’ll dismiss it as a blip. But, honestly, frost, snow and minus four degrees in May? That’s what I call a climate emergency.