THE old political parties

may be imploding, but that hasn’t stopped MPs preening themselves. Tory hopefuls are lining up to succeed dead woman walking Mrs May. you magazine on Sunday featured a fashion shoot with someone called liz Truss, who I always thought was the woman who wrote that book about punctuation. Miss Truss was made up to within an inch of her life and togged out like Sharon Stone. It was the most cringe-making set of photos since Mother Theresa’s ill-advised leather trousers portfolio. The headline asked: ‘Is this Britain’s next Prime Minister?’ To which the only answer is: no. elsewhere, another MP called Matthew Something was photographed in a pair of red sneakers, looking like a 16-year-old. yet he is being tipped laughably as one-half of a ‘dream ticket’ with look Back In Amber Rudd. In your dreams. James Brokenshire was pictured doing a man of the people act in his kitchen, in front of not one, but two double ovens. you’ve heard of Two Jags. now meet Two ovens. Apparently, Brokenshire used to be the voice of in-store adverts at the Texas Homecare store in loughton, essex. I’m assuming they paid him in ovens.