HOW NOT TO IMPRESS ENGLAND’S SELECTORS

Peter MOORES called me to one side and handed me a telephone. the look on his face should have told me something was up, but a plane could have flown past with a banner saying ‘Monty! You’re playing for england!’, and I still wouldn’t have been sure. ‘Is that Monty?’ I didn’t recognise the voice. ‘Yes.’ ‘It’s david Graveney.’ who’s david Graveney? I didn’t recognise the name. I’d genuinely no idea. How could I say that without sounding rude? In the split second I had to think, the best I could come up with was: ‘Sorry, who?’ ‘david Graveney, the chairman of selectors.’ Selectors? ‘Congratulations Monty, you’re going to India as our sixteenth man.’ ‘Sorry, who are you again?’ ‘david Graveney, england’s chairman of selectors. we’ve picked you for the tour to India.’ ‘what tour to India?’ It slowly sank in that I might have been talking to the most important man in english cricket, a man who had the power to alter my life forever. and I’d just told him I didn’t know who he was. ‘the england first team Monty! Congratulations, it’s a great achievement for you…’ My head started to reel. david Graveney keeps talking, but none of it is going in. I think I’ve just been selected for england. But can he drop me for not knowing who he is? david (below) later told me he’d never had a call like it. People had laughed, cried with joy and fallen into shock. that was when he was delivering good news. when it was bad news he’d get disappointment, silence and occasionally industrialstrength verbal abuse, but at least they had all known who he was and why he was calling.