Knock, knock, the old ones are the best!
SIR: Like many others, I have been deeply traumatised by offensive ‘jokes’ cracked in recent weeks by people like Danny Baker, Roseanne Barr and Jo Brand.
Now I read that the Dalai Lama has just made what he considers a ‘joke’, saying that if his successor were a woman, she should be ‘more attractive’.
Why can’t we go back to the good old days, when jokes were purely funny? I still find myself chuckling at the innocent knock-knock jokes from my childhood, like this one. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Amanda. Amanda who? Aman da fix your sink!
Sue Nervy, Barking SIR: Shame on you for printing Ms Nervy’s highly offensive socalled ‘joke’. Does she seriously think that, in the year 2019, a man is the only person capable of fixing a sink? The world of plumbing is already maledominated, and this type of joke puts back the female cause by 50 years.
And another thing. That ‘ knock knock’ joke sounds as if it is told by someone with a foreign accent. I’m sorry, when was racism ever funny? I am sure your readers will be relieved to hear the following genuinely funny and inoffensive knock-knock joke. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Roland. Roland who? Roland butter is very tasty with a cup of tea.
Rhoda Kill, Nuneaton SIR: Your previous correspondent, Ms Kill, surely knows that obesity is a major cause of cancer, heart disease and type 2 diabetes. Yet she persists in telling a socalled ‘joke’ involving butter and bread rolls. As everyone knows, they are both high in calories and potentially life-threatening.
As a lifelong campaigner against obesity, I strongly object to this frivolous attitude towards lethal products such as bread and butter, particularly when there are plenty of healthy ‘knock-knock’ jokes that are acceptable substitutes. This one, for instance: Knock knock. Who’s there? Renata. Renata who? Renata sugar. Can I borrow some?
Ivor Temper, Berks SIR: It simply defies belief that you should print Mr Temper’s depraved joke about sugar. Sugar is one of the world’s number one killers, and the source of untold misery. I am not against knock-knock jokes. Far from it. Every Christmas, I amuse the youngsters in my family with the following joke, before moving on to more pressing issues, such as climate change. Knock knock. Who’s there? Canoe. Canoe who? Canoe help me do my homework? Hammond Eggs, Boreham SIR: As a senior teacher, I think it defies belief that your previous correspondent considers it right and proper to encourage children to seek parental assistance with homework. Now, more than ever, it is vital our schoolkids learn to stand on their own two feet. To encourage them to cheat in this way is reprehensible. In case anyone is labouring under the misapprehension that I do not have a sense of humour, I can assure them that I often smile at the following joke. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hatch. Hatch who? God bless you! D. Meanour (Ms), Stopham
SIR: Does Ms D. Meanour really find it amusing to tell jokes about people sneezing? At this time of year, many of us suffer from debilitating hay fever. Hardly a topic for humour.
Surely your columns are a wholly inappropriate forum for flippant and insensitive jokes about this devastating condition? Apologies are in order. Meanwhile, I pass on this uncontentious knock-knock joke in the hope that it will help unite the world in mirth. We certainly all need a sense of humour in these dark days. Knock knock. Who’s there? Felix Felix who? Felix my lolly, I’ll whack him.
Des Pair, Wittering SIR: I am disappointed. Domestic violence is no laughing matter. Nor, for that matter, is the proliferation of sweets cynically targeted at kids. Whenever my own children ask for a knock-knock joke, I tell them this one and they pronounce it satisfactory. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Europe. Europe who? Europe early this morning.
Dan Turn, Tooting
SIR: As a convinced Brexiteer, I find it frankly revolting you should print such pro-EU propaganda in the form of a ‘joke’. Funny? I don’t think so. Whatever happened to the good old British sense of humour?
Frank Leigh, Bickering