Westminster wars

SOME compare Boris Johnson’s campaigning girlfriend Carrie Symonds to Meghan Markle — a breath of modernising fresh air to blow through the stuffy old Tory Party. Jolly good, too. And at almost half his age, 31- year- old Carrie will probably want baby Borises soon. What joy. Though he needs to get divorced from his second wife Marina before we formally welcome the third Mrs Bojo. And square it with his kids. Downing Street is about to become more colourful than Coronation Street.

LABOUR’S Brexit spokesman Keir Starmer is hotly tipped to become leader if Corbyn does the honourable thing and falls on his pruning fork. How can we take a man seriously who looks slightly more cheerful than the Addams Family’s manservant Lurch and is named after a drink popular in the Eighties? Kir Royales all round for the Tories if he succeeds.

WITHOUT a hint of self-awareness or irony, Mrs May made her last speech as PM, warning Boris Johnson that his populism would leave the Tories in the ‘gutter’ of history. She called for ‘compromise’ — this from a PM whose leadership has been defined by her total lack of it.