Thank you for all your wisdom . . .

FROM time to time it’s good to take a moment for thanks — as people always do after big events. Behind the scenes there are always the helpers — and here my helpers are readers.

First, I want to express heartfelt gratitude to all of you who sympathised over the accident which killed my daughter’s poor little puppy, especially those who sent their own sad stories of accidents in which beloved cats and dogs died — and about pet bereavement in general.

I was touched by your kindness and equally moved by the sorrows you shared. You sent some pictures, too — knowing they were coming to a good ‘home’. Thank you.

I’m also grateful to those who responded to last week’s letter from ‘Paul’ — writing such a worried letter about his friend ‘Dave’ who was drinking so much.

I said Dave was lucky to have a friend like Paul — and nobody disagreed with that. But some readers who know more than I do (often through sad personal experience of alcoholism) advised me that it is unwise to force the drinker into a situation where they are forced to withdraw. I take that on board.

I know all about Alcoholics Anonymous — and wholeheartedly agree with those who say Dave needs to ‘get help’.

The trouble is, his anxious friend had made it very clear that Dave steadfastly refuses to acknowledge any problem at all. So how to make a person like that seek proper, professional help for his addiction?

If you want to read a serious, beautifully written, agonising account of life with an alcoholic, I recommend You Left Early — A True Story Of Love And Alcohol by the brilliant Louisa Young.

It’s about the long, painful, frustrating and heartbreaking relationship between the writer and the celebrated composer Robert Lockhart, who drank away all his promise. The memoir reveals exactly how impossible it is to ‘save’ somebody who does not wish to be saved.

My problem is that I just can’t write: ‘You can’t do a single thing.’ But thank you for all your wisdom.

Bel answers readers’ questions on emotional and relationship problems each week. Write to Bel Mooney, Daily Mail, 2 Derry Street, london W8 5TT, or email bel.mooney@dailymail.co.uk. Names are changed to protect identities. Bel reads all letters but regrets she cannot enter into personal correspondence.