You sound desperate — don’t do it

DOM SAYS:

The first thing that leaps out at me here is just how recent their split is. You say they went their separate ways in March. Well that’s only four months, which really isn’t much time at all.

There are many couples who break up and get back together — or at least have a bit of to-ing and fro-ing before finally calling it quits. Your interest does seem a little premature.

even if you are certain that they will definitely not reunite, you do seem to be in a bit of a rush. how do you think your friend would react were you to ask her if she minded you chatting up her very recent ex? I suspect she might be furious.

The speed of this bothers me in another way, too. Not to put too fine a point on it, you’re coming across as a little desperate. Keen is good, but over-eager is not. You say in your letter that you’re fed up with being single, but I fear that your enthusiasm to find a bloke might be a bit off-putting. Are you really sure it’s this bloke you’re after, or is it just any bloke? If the object of your affections feels that it’s not really about him, he’s unlikely to react favourably.

Which brings me to my next point. You know that he’s single and he knows that you’re single, yet he hasn’t approached you on the dating app or on social media. of course, this could simply be that it hasn’t occurred to him. But it’s also possible that he knows very well that you’re looking for love but doesn’t feel you’ll find it with him.

There could be a million reasons for this, not least the impact on your friend.

Finally, ask yourself if you and this chap were to find your happy ever after, what would that mean for your friendship? My money would be that you’d lose the friend. so, no, I say, leave well alone. This is a can of worms and there’s no point in opening it!