My whole adult life has been destroyed – all because of these wretched drugs
Fiona French has been taking benzodiazepines for the past 40 years to control her epilepsy.
‘I am now disabled. I need a walking frame or a wheelchair,’ said the 65year-old. ‘My short-term memory is poor and I have difficulty processing the meaning of text and speech – all because of those wretched pills.
‘For years I had no idea of their ill effects, I even attempted suicide three or four times as my mood was so badly affected. I used to believe that my doctors knew what was good for me so when I was prescribed 5mg a day of nitrazepam, a benzodiazepine, to control my epilepsy I went along with it.
‘The doctor said nothing about their adverse effects. The drug controlled my epilepsy, but within weeks I became hyperactive. I couldn’t sit still and within two months I made my first suicide attempt. Prior to that, I had been struggling as a student but the idea of suicide had never entered my mind.’
The retired NHS researcher, from aberdeen, added: ‘My GP referred me to a psychiatrist and they prescribed me an antidepressant anafranil, which caused me to have grand mal epileptic seizures. I was very quickly switched to doxepin and thereafter many other antidepressants.
‘Even so I struggled to get going in the morning and had to do everything very slowly. I was told that my symptoms were just part of depression and I believed it. It never entered my head it could be the benzos making me ill and depressed.
‘I came off them briefly in 1981 when I was switched to another anti- epileptic drug but I became very ill – I was anxious and in physical pain and so was put back on them. It wasn’t until years later that I made the discovery that benzos caused dependence and that what I had experienced was in fact drug withdrawal.
‘In 2012 I saw a new doctor for a medication review who suggested to me that I should think about coming off nitrazepam as it was ‘ no longer recommended for epilepsy.’ I was given no advice about how to do it but I did have a copy of a book, produced by Professor Heather ashton, which advised I tapered over three months. Soon after I did that I could not drag myself out of bed. I became sensitive to daylight and every nerve in my body started screaming out – it was like a burning sensation. Even wearing underwear was painful. My GP said it was impossible that my symptoms were due to withdrawal and blamed them on depression.
‘I came off antidepressants in 2015 when I realised the benzos had been affecting my mood for decades. I turned to the internet for help and came across lots of other people like me who had been taking benzos and suffering the same symptoms.
‘My whole adult life has been destroyed by these drugs. The announcement today is to be welcomed.
‘But it comes too late for me and the countless others – some of them half my age – who have been left permanently damaged by these drugs.’