Squirm? No, I’m PROUD of Mum for posing like this
It would make most of us cringe, but here Vanessa Feltz’s daughter defiantly insists...
That’s my mum, in the silk stockings and sheer negligee, posing with a smouldering smile. and I couldn’t be more proud of her.
her sexy photoshoot, combined with a very revealing interview, caused quite a stir this week. My mum, Vanessa Feltz, the tV presenter, is famous for many things — with her own shows on radio and television, as well as competing in reality contests including strictly Come Dancing and Celebrity Big Brother.
But she never imagined she could pose for such glamorous pictures, until now. It’s a whole new image, and I’m thrilled for her because I know how much hardship she has overcome to get here. she deserves to celebrate.
Mum has lost nearly four stone in weight, since a life- changing choice to have gastric bypass surgery in January of this year. she opted for this radical operation only after much discussion with her family, but the decision has proved an incredible success ... as anyone who looks at the pictures can see.
What I see is the triumphant woman who not only survived but fought back after my father walked out on her 20 years ago in the most humiliating and public way, leaving her for a younger woman. these photos show her defiance, her inspirational determination never to be beaten.
Of course, she was slightly concerned that my younger sister saskia, 30, and I, 33, and even her three grandchildren, might somehow feel embarrassed by the pictures. Not a bit of it! I texted her the moment I saw them to tell her she looked absolutely marvellous, and to emphasise how delighted I was.
I know she was touched by that. the support of both her daughters means a great deal. We’re a close family, living just a short distance apart, and we see each other at least once every day.
We’re getting ready to spend Christmas as a family at Mum’s place in Cork, south-west Ireland: me, saskia, our husbands and children, and Mum. her fiance Ben is doing panto so he can’t get over, but I’m sure there will be lots of long, loving phone calls.
Not every Christmas has been as joyous as I hope this one will be. My mum fights her battles in the open, so it’s no secret that she has struggled with her weight for a very long time.
there have been years of yo-yo diets — shedding the pounds and inevitably putting them back on — that have been debilitating for her health and emotionally tough for her. she has tried repeatedly — succeeded, and then failed.
Nine years ago, she had a gastric band fitted, a sort of bottleneck at the top of the stomach that is meant to prevent over-eating. It seemed like a good idea, but proved a disaster.
Unable to swallow more than a few mouthfuls of food, Mum found herself fretting constantly about what she could and couldn’t eat. her mood and her sleep patterns were both upset, and instead of establishing a routine of healthy eating, she began snatching bites of whatever she could keep down — such as chocolate mousse.
the situation became a living nightmare that was exhausting for her and deeply distressing for the rest of her family. Clearly, we couldn’t go on like this.
But deciding on her next step wasn’t easy. Removing the gastric band meant another op. the question was, should she have a full bypass at the same time?
Fortunately, Mum is rather good at listening to professional advice and giving herself time to arrive at a rational decision.
Of course, we were worried as she went into the operating theatre. But we were worried anyway: there are so many health issues associated with obesity.
Drastic as it seemed, the bypass was the most responsible choice she could have made.
I’ve got two children, aged nearly six and four, and my sister has an eight-month-old baby. More than anything, we want Mum to be able to see her grandchildren grow up.
I must admit that the way she suffered with the gastric band made me deeply concerned. she’s 57, and there’s only so much punishment the body can take.
so the success of the bypass surgery has been an indescribable relief. Watching Mum adapt to her new dietary regime after the op, and seeing the excess weight melt away until she looked 20 years younger, was wonderful.
What
I wasn’t expecting was the way her energy levels doubled. she has always been a machine, getting up at 3.50am to do her shows, first on Radio 2 and then on Radio London, then jumping on the back of a motorbike to roar off to the this Morning studios or making an appearance for charity before going out for the evening.
how she maintains that pace baffles me, and I never thought it possible for her to have even more energy. Following surgery, she says she feels like her true self, not held back by her weight or undermined by her horrible love-hate relationship with food.
so it’s hardly surprising when she declares that her libido is livelier than ever, too. I may have blushed slightly when I read she was ‘still in the market for a bit of spectacular athletic sex — much more than the missionary position’.
and when she went on to say that she and Ben were having ‘sex in any position, at any time, over the kitchen counter, in the garage, over the dishwasher, anywhere’ . . . well, Mum, there is such a thing as too much information!
But we are all grown-ups. It’s just so good to see her as part of a happy, fulfilled couple. she and Ben are great for each other. he was devoted, all the time she was in hospital, constantly at her bedside — a tower of support. I know that it’s this deep love which is at the root of their vigorous sex life. she’s so glad he’s there.
I can’t forget how shattered Mum was when my father walked out. I was just 13 and my sister was ten, and the break-up had a horrible effect on all of us, but the worst thing was seeing the toll it took on our mother’s self-esteem. her confidence was in tatters.
What a difference today. Who could blame her for celebrating her fabulous new figure and bouncing love life?
there’s another powerful reason for Mum’s own photoshoot. she’s glad to be alive. her own mother, Valerie, died when she was 57, in 1995. I don’t think a day goes by when Mum doesn’t remember that she’s now older than Valerie ever lived to be. she passed that point in august this year, and it was a massive emotional hurdle for her.
What she has done by posing for those pictures is empowering for all women, but especially for those in their 50s. she’s raising her voice and speaking frankly, telling the world, ‘I am a woman in my prime, with my own feelings, desires and impulses. I’ve been through hell and back again, but here I am, standing tall and feeling brilliant.’
What a bold, inspirational statement. I just hope she knows how proud I am of her — more than I could ever say.