A light-bulb moment to change a life

NOW we’ve settled into January I’ll remind you of one or two things about this column, triggered by a lovely recent comment from Trish:

‘I am writing regarding your reply to the lady who felt she had been “not good enough”.

‘My story was similar . . . a controlling, hurtful mother who made me feel exactly the same . . . the worn-out record of all the things I wasn’t good enough at.

‘Your three small words were a light-bulb moment, advising her to say: “I am enough.”

‘I can’t begin to tell you how that has changed me. It was like a weight falling away — a sort of avalanche. I always read your column and admire your advice but I never expected it to reverberate to me, like a pebble thrown in a pool.

‘Thank you so much for your wisdom and those three transformative words!’

The point here is that even if your problem letter hasn’t appeared (it’s impossible to publish them all), I’m often delighted to hear from readers (like Trish) that something on the page, written to somebody else, has resonated.

So if you’ve written in (and all letters are acknowledged and then read carefully by me), do keep reading the column because you never know what will strike you. Maybe ‘transformative words’.

Now, an important word about identification. I always change names, but if you want certain details in your letter to be left out/disguised, just say so. I try, but I can’t mind-read!

I understand that people don’t want others to know they have written, though I’d whisper that sometimes this can work in a tough, unexpected way — to shift a family situation forward.

Sometimes a cool look at a problem is necessary, which is why I can’t just offer bland sympathy and stroking.

But I do offer a caring ear. So keep those letters and emails coming. In this little club, we can all help each other. You’ve certainly taught me a lot!