Ephraim Hardcastle
LIKE Meghan did when she married Prince Harry, fellow US actress Grace Kelly suspended her glittering career when she got hitched to Monaco’s Prince Rainier in 1956. Alfred Hitchcock was among the Hollywood aristocracy who tried unsuccessfully to lure her back to the movie set. Could Meghan resist a similar enticement?
CRUSTY thespian Brian Cox, 73, boasts that Princess Margaret ran her fingers down the inside of his shirt when she attended a first night at the Royal Court. ‘When I was a young actor,’ he says, ‘I was touched up by Princess Margaret.’ Must have been before Specsavers!
NEWLY retired Tory MP Kenneth Clarke’s vote against Brexit prompted Boris Johnson to withdraw the whip. Now Ken yearns for a peerage. He fears the PM won’t nominate him, saying: ‘I would accept one if I was offered… I’ve got a whole lot of mates there.’ Hasn’t he been punished enough, Boris?
ARMANDO Iannucci, creator of grotesque Downing Street PR Malcolm Tucker, tells Radio Times that Dominic Cummings apparently views Malcolm as an aspirational figure, adding: ‘The joke was that he was an utter ****! It’s like the way politicians used to try to buy their Spitting Image puppet. They don’t quite understand the point of satire.’
ADMIRERS of the Oxford classicist Daisy Dunn, pictured, biographer of obscene Roman poet Catullus, are baffled why Lord Bragg didn’t invite her on to the latest edition of his cerebral BBC Radio 4 show In Our Time to discuss the lewd versifier. Says a friend: ‘Maybe Daisy was too fruity for Melvyn.’
THE death of Oman’s Sultan Qaboos last week coupled with last year’s abdication of Japan’s Emperor Akihito means that should Charles, 71, ascend the throne soon there would be only seven reigning monarchs older than him.
HAVING seen every election candidate he publicly backed lose, preachy luvvie Hugh Grant now re-emerges, lamely claiming a ‘consistent majority for Remain’. His old foe Piers Morgan tweets back: ‘For the love of God, shut up Grant, you sore, (multiple) loser imbecile.’ Boys!
RECENTLY left behind on so-so ITV drama Grantchester by former handsome costar James Norton, 34 – now tipped as favourite to be the next 007 – mature ladies’ favourite Robson Green, 55, wryly reflects: ‘I wonder whatever did happen to James?’ Showbiz is cruel, isn’t it?
HUMAN foghorn Brian Blessed fondly recalls a post-midnight race across Clifton suspension bridge with thirsty Bristol Old Vic colleague Peter O’Toole and encountering two academics who’d just seen John Gielgud on stage. ‘“He’s wonderful!” they said. “You must go and see him!’” says Blessed. ‘Then they walked off. O’Toole said to me: “Amazing, isn’t it? They’re so enamoured by Gielgud, they failed to realise that we’re both b*****k naked”.’