What he says, goes, and that’s fine

STaCeY mcCall, 33, lives in Cheshire with her 36-year-old husband, who works in aviation, and their children aged ten and eight. She says:

A FEW weeks ago, my husband and I were trying to decide where to go for our summer holiday this year. I quite fancied the Canaries, but my husband was set on Cape Verde. Did I stamp my feet and argue until I got my way? Of course not: we’re going to Cape Verde, it’s booked and I couldn’t be happier. It’s only right that he gets the casting vote on our big expenditures; as the wage earner, he pays for it all. Similarly, if we are making a big purchase, such as a new TV or computer, while he always values my opinion, the ultimate decision is his. Does that make me an oppressed wife, who is setting back the feminist movement decades? That’s for others to decide.

All I know is that this set-up makes us very happy.

After having our children, I returned to work as a technical administrator for several years thinking it would be more manageable than returning to my former banking career. But we were all unhappy and stressed.

The children were always in after-school clubs, the house was a mess, we’d eat takeaways because we were too tired to cook, and my husband and I bickered and rarely had time for each other.

We both longed for a more traditional family life where I was at home with the children and did the chores and he went to work.

When he got a promotion and a salary increase in late 2018 I was finally able to become a Tradwife.

Forward 14 months and the house is tidy, the children are content, the marital squabbling has stopped and we eat homecooked meals every night. We flirt, we laugh and our marriage has never been stronger.

I provide structure and stability, and by putting my husband, children and home first, I keep stress levels to a minimum. He tells me the job I do at home is more important than any other.

I’ve also had the time to get involved with the local community — in the way women in the 1950s did — and helped set up a neighbourhood watch scheme.

Far from betraying feminism, being a Tradwife is empowering and has enabled me to take back control of my life.

The stress and anxiety of trying to hold down a career while also running a home and being an attentive wife and mother are long gone. Sometimes the old ways really are the best.