‘WE HAD ONE VISIT FROM SOCIAL WORKERS AFTER THE CASE. THEN NOTHING’

JEnny BEntlEy, 63, a retired staff nurse, lives in leeds with her grandson tyler, 14, and husband Phil, 66, who has two grown-up sons from his first marriage. ‘I MARRIED late,’ says Jenny — she was 43 — and the couple had planned a relaxing retirement, but life changed when their grandson arrived to live with them nearly ten years ago.

Phil’s son, Jamie, 39, separated from Tyler’s mum when Tyler was 18 months old. Jenny says Tyler’s mum found it hard to cope and, in April 2011, social services rang and said he had to be picked up from school. ‘They didn’t feel he should go back home. He was

happy to come with us,’ says Jenny. He already had his own bedroom, as he would often stay with them at weekends.

A year later, Jenny and Phil were granted a joint residence order with Jamie, which lets Tyler switch between their house and his father’s. Tyler sees his father once a month for a weekend. ‘Jamie didn’t want to lose his parental responsibility,’ says Jenny.

‘We asked a social worker to come and explain the situation to Tyler, which she did. Then there was no further input. No financial help, other than child benefit.’

Tyler had meltdowns that could last for two or three hours. Jenny says a local authority therapeutic parenting group could have been a godsend. But Tyler was shut out as he hadn’t been in the care of the local authority — even 24 hours with an emergency foster carer would have been enough for him to qualify.

Tyler also wasn’t eligible for Pupil Premium Plus — a £2,300-ayear payment for headteachers to use on a child’s needs.

‘I told them we needed help ’ Jenny explains. ‘They said: “If he’s not looked after, you Bond: Phil, Tyler, Jenny can’t have it from us.” ’ After pushing, she eventually got advice from a family support worker, and the help of a school play leader.

Tyler is now more in control of his emotions and Jenny can finally hug him. ‘For a long while, you couldn’t put your arms around him as he’d squirm.’ She says the change in her grandson is reward enough. But money has been tight. ‘It wasn’t part of our plan. I don’t get my pension for another three years and we are eating into our savings. We have to say: “Sorry, we can’t afford £120 trainers.” ’ In contrast, foster carers are paid on average £450 a week per child, and assigned a social worker.