Why IS Harry risking this precious bond?
As the Sussexes release a churlish statement claiming the Queen has no ‘jurisdiction’ over the word ‘royal’...
JUST look at the picture of the Queen inspecting newly fledged officers at sandhurst’s passing out ceremony. Even in profile you witness her pride back in 2006 as she looks up at Captain Wales — as if thinking: ‘Who’d have thought that scamp would turn into this fine young man?!’
sword in hand, her grandson flushes scarlet — stifling self-conscious giggles as a cheeky grin stretches ear to ear.
It is an image to treasure — because it encapsulates the very special relationship between a grandparent and grandchild.
And as the storm clouds swirl around the House of Windsor, it is worth remembering the achingly poignant bond that has long existed between Queen Elizabeth and Prince Harry, a bond that now seems under threat as never before.
At the weekend, the Sussexes released an extraordinary statement aimed squarely at the Queen’s decision to refuse them the right to continue using the brand sussex Royal, claiming the monarch has no ‘jurisdiction’ over the word ‘royal’ overseas.
their response has resulted in criticism from royal observers, with tom Bower, Prince Charles’s biographer, saying: ‘the comments smack of spiteful fury. I fear it will get worse.’
this, and other recent developments within the Royal Family are enough to plunge any loyal monarchist — and I am one — into deep gloom.
I can hardly bear to talk about what most thinking people surely see as catastrophic errors of judgment in the way Prince Harry and Meghan have acted and spoken. But that’s not what most grieves me.
When I look at all the wonderful photographs of Harry with his grandmother, I am not seeing a great Monarch and a Prince of the Realm. No, I contemplate an adoring grandmother and loving grandson, and want to weep at what he has stepped far away from and how she must hurt for what is lost. An old Italian proverb says: ‘If nothing is going well, call your grandmother.’ And as someone brought up in a ‘grandmotherly’ family (with Gran/Nan playing a key role for three generations) I can tell you it’s true. tell Granny your troubles, moan about Mum and Dad, be naughty — and know she won’t give you away.
Where the parent-child relationship can be complicated, grandparent-grandchild interactions have the freedom to be far more relaxed and accepting. And it goes far beyond the cliché of handing them back at the end of the day.
It’s about knowing about parenthood and loving a second crack at getting it right — without all the tension.
You have only to look at a wonderful portrait of the Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh at Balmoral with their first four grandchildren to sense the truth of that. sitting cosily between his grandparents, merry little Harry looks out with laughing confidence — as happy as it’s possible for a child to be.
Years pass, the images multiply, the story is the same. Here’s Harry making a goofy face to make Granny smile. there he is teaching her about Facetime on her mobile phone, to the Obamas no less!
the whole sequence of pictures is a delightful story of inter-generational warmth. At the 2008 wedding of his cousin, Peter Phillips (another sad story there), Harry beams as he stands behind his grandparents.
something has entertained them
both, but what matters is that Harry’s gaze is fixed on them. It’s clear he is revelling in their mood of relaxed enjoyment — and seconds later he leans forward to whisper in Granny’s ear, giving her a kiss, too. It is a beautiful picture of tenderness.
The Queen’s Christmas Day broadcast in 1984 came from the heart of a grandmother thrilled at a new baby. Over film of Harry’s christening she said: ‘The happy arrival of our fourth grandchild gave great cause for family celebrations. But for parents and grandparents, a birth is also a time for reflection on what the future holds for the baby and how they can best ensure its safety and happiness.’ She went on to say that the two older generations, ‘must be prepared to learn as much from them as they do from us’ — and praised the ‘sturdy confidence and devastating honesty’ of children.
The trouble is, those children grow into adults and become influenced by stronger personalities and the ways of the world. Parents and grandparents have no choice but to let them go, watch them make mistakes and then . . . well, just wait and see.
At least the photographs of happier times prove the permanent truth of precious moments.
The camera does not lie. Harry may have changed and moved away, but I’ve no doubt our Queen is as steadfast as she was in that 1984 Christmas broadcast, when she also reflected: ‘Above all, we must retain the child’s readiness to forgive.’
But how long can she hold to this sentiment in the face of that churlish outburst from Vancouver Island?