Ephraim Hardcastle
PRINCE Philip’s surprise statement in praise of pandemic front liners was designed to blunt the negative royal dispatches from Harry and Meghan. The Duke of Edinburgh, who declined to record his message, has mixed views on the media. Visiting a hospital in Jamaica he told a nurse: ‘You have mosquitoes – I have the Press.’
PHILIP was careful to add binmen to his tribute. He’s been a Fellow of the Chartered Institution of Wastes Management since 1969.
IDRIS Elba’s suggestion that after Covid19 is vanquished, the world ‘should take a week of quarantine every year to remember’ elicits an incredulous tweet: ‘The world should go to war for a week to remember WW2.’
RADIO Caroline founder Ronan O’Rahilly, who has died, excites mixed emotion from George Lazenby who was once managed by O’Rahilly. After appearing in On Her Majesty’s Secret Service Lazenby was persuaded to turn down a seven-film 007 contract. ‘There is no future in Bond,’ O’Rahilly advised.
GWYNETH Paltrow donates the handbeaded silver Calvin Klein dress, pictured, that she wore to the 2000 Oscars to a Hollywood virus charity. Isn’t it a pity that she remarked in 2013: ‘It’s an okay dress but not Oscars material. I chose it because I wanted to disappear that year.’
LORD Beaverbrook’s great-nephew Jonathan Aitken, whose political career was destroyed when he was jailed for perjury, compares himself with disgraced Tory minister John Profumo, who sought redemption in charity work. ‘A catastrophic career crash in public life is agonisingly painful,’ muses Aitken, now a prison chaplain. ‘This breaking experience can open up different vistas of fresh hope and action. I have never felt happier and more fulfilled than I am today in my charitable and spiritual calling.’ Amen to that.
NEVER a fan of Education Secretary Gavin Williamson, former Tory MP Sir Nicholas Soames takes exception to his press conference performance, tweeting: ‘Very close to a near death experience. Really pointless frankly. Do it less, do it better, and use big, competent knowledgeable ministers only.’
PHILIP Pullman, author of His Dark Materials, condemns the Cabinet’s Covid-19 response. ‘They should be arraigned on charges of conspiracy to murder,’ he declares. ‘Nothing less will do.’ Get off the fence, Pullman!
FOGEYISH journalist Charles Moore is disappointed not to be included in Harry and Meghan’s newspaper zeroengagement diktat. ‘I would quite like to be released from any opportunity to cover the activities of your new non-profit empire, Archewell, and whatever else you may find to do in Los Angeles,’ he muses.