Today’s poem

THE LOCKDOWN LAMENT!

To beat the dreaded virus threat, we’ve all gone into lockdown, I made a mask, an easy task. I simply cut a sock down. Some people have to work from home, a lot are being furloughed For me the way to see this through — ‘Stay Home, Keep Safe, get Merlot-ed!’ I thought I’d teach myself new skills and help to wind the clock down, My first task, making Chinese food, got burned, so put the wok down. Then had a go at gardening. The grass got over-mowed I saw more stars than stripes, as I was just a bit Bordeaux-ed! It’s time to get in trim, I thought, while freely pouring hock down, I got the wife involved in sparring. She won by a knockdown. Then art and craft appealed to me, the paint and ideas flowed, But so did too much Chardonnay. I felt quite Pic-ass-oed! It seems we’re out of alcohol. I’ve really run the stock down, I’m in a state about my weight. It’s hard to put the choc down. There’s little doubt I must get out, but hang on, I’ll be blowed A long-lost bottle at the back, so let’s get Lambrusco-ed! I can’t wait till the shops reopen. I’ll be first to rock down And grab some bargain booze, before the general public flock down. I’d celebrate our getting back to pre-Corona mode By getting quite ridiculously Neuf du Pape Chateau-ed! What’s this? A hostile atmosphere! I’m not sure what to think. I stayed at home like I was told. Just had the odd wee drink. My lovely wife said: ‘On my life’ (she can be rather fiery). ‘You’ve had your fun. When this is done, you’re straight off to the Priory!’