How I raised the bar by speaking Spanish

The letter from Ian Green (Peterborough), outlining the linguistic problems encountered by those of us who love Spain but have never mastered the language, reminded me of a similar incident decades ago. I was sitting on a bar stool in a Costa Brava hotel one evening. Being fortunate in tanning easily, after the week I could easily have passed for a local, which is more or less what happened. A man approached the bar and in a delightful but almost incomprehensible broad Scots accent asked for two gin and tonics and a beer. The barman spoke no english and looked at him uncomprehendingly. I quietly said: ‘Dos gin tonic y

una cerveza.’ This was the full extent of my Spanish vocabulary. The Scot nodded his thanks and returned to his table, whereupon I heard his wife say: ‘Wasn’t it nice of that Spanish man to translate for you?’ The husband, having possibly lost a little bit of face, muttered: ‘Aye, but it’s nae so easy fur a Brit t’du that!’ As I left, I couldn’t resist saying ‘Good night, old chap.’ Their bemused faces said it all. Colin Drury, Dinas Powys,

Vale of Glamorgan.