I tried saying ‘yes’ to everything – and it’s left me exhausted!
From red carpet to real life... Reid all about it
DO YOU ever have a day that you fear will end before you’ve got everything done? Monday was one of those for me.
After a 4am start, then hours interviewing experts on Covid and Government policy on Good Morning Britain, i helped pack my eldest son’s belongings into the car and drove him an hour-and-a-half to his new university halls.
We unpacked his stuff, did a food shop and then i drove back. once home, i decorated the kitchen for my youngest’s 15th birthday, wrapped his presents and cooked his favourite dinner.
later i read briefings for the guests on the next day’s show and crawled into bed. i hadn’t had time to call my mum, check in with my dad or write this column because i had run out of hours in the day.
how did i get to the stage where i never have a spare minute? i think part of it is the fear of not grasping every new opportunity.
A few years back, as a self-help addict, i read a book by the American TV executive — and creator of Grey’s Anatomy — Shonda Rhimes. it is called Year of Yes. it encourages women to break out of their shells and say ‘yes’ more often.
i gave it a go. i’ve always loved challenges, but this isn’t the answer. The truth is women have a tendency to say ‘yes’ even when we’re at tipping point. The challenge is saying ‘enough’.
one friend told me i should make a ‘The kitchen is closed’ sign to hang on the door after i described a night of dishing up dinners of various descriptions at different times including an entire meal at half-past midnight.
But when you work long hours, you never want your children to think they’re not a priority — so something else in the schedule has to give instead. inevitably, the thing to go is time for yourself.
After my exhausting time on Monday, i kept thinking about Andrea Mclean’s candidly honest account — published last week here in Femail Magazine — of feeling perilously overwhelmed, and couldn’t shake a growing sense of recognition.
My ITV colleague, who is a presenter on loose Women, a loving wife and busy mother of two, will have struck a chord with so many working mums when she revealed she reached breaking point as she tried to ‘do everything and be everything’.
When i read about her book, This Girl is on Fire, i messaged her to tell her how helpful her account will be to others in the same boat. People — i must confess — like me. While i haven’t felt myself on the edge like Andrea, i have had times when i have looked at myself in the mirror, dark circles under my eyes, a to-do list coming out of my ears, and said: ‘Susanna, you need to slow down.’
HOW many of us say ‘ yes’ over and over again? Another school project, another dinner for friends, another teenage taxi shuttle service.
The pandemic has made us all take a long look at the way we lead our lives. At the beginning, i was caught up in the grip of nightmares that left me sobbing when i woke up.
i would dream of being in dangerous situations where people were hurt or injured. The night terrors eased as the months went on. But all the uncertainty means i want to spend as much time as i can nurturing my family and friends who were getting the ragged ends of me too often.
of course, like Andrea, i am lucky to have a glamorous job i love and lots of support. But there comes a time when instead of juggling endless balls in the air, fearful that one will fall, we gently and carefully put one down.
And that is why, after a fantastic year writing this column, i am handing over the baton. it has been an extraordinary year to be engaged with Mail readers as we went into lockdown together.
having watched the Prime Minister announce new rules on Tuesday, i’ve decided i need to find the time to focus on my nearest and dearest.
i want to see my dad more often and spend more time with Mum. i want to support my eldest through his strange first year at uni and do a better job helping my younger two with their homework in preparation for a school year that may go online at any moment.
Thank you for all your feedback. You have shared your views openly and honestly, and i hope what i have written has made you think or even reassured you.
i may look like i’m in control on TV, but underneath i’m trying to hold it together like we all are. here’s to busy mums everywhere and the power to, occasionally, say ‘enough’.