The one lesson I’ve learned from life

Singer Macy Gray

Macy Gray, 53, rose to fame in 1999 with the release of her first album, On How Life Is. She has since released ten more albums, won two Brit awards and one Grammy. She lives in Los angeles with her three children, aanisah, 24, Tahmel, 23, and Happy, 22.

CONFIDENCE COMES IN YOUR FORTIES

As A girl, I had zero confidence. I was a very awkward, shy kid; tall and skinny, with lots of hair that I didn’t know what to do with. And, I was bullied at school.

I remember, I’d go home and cry to my mum (who was a teacher, and very strict) that people had hurt my feelings. she’d say to me, ‘You just need to turn 40!’. Back then, I didn’t understand her, but now I completely get it.

I got my first record deal at 24, but it fell through — and I ended up getting pregnant. My ex-husband Tracey did nothing for my self- esteem. I found myself divorced at 28, with three kids, living with my mum.

However, shortly after, I was signed with sony and released my first album. Everything changed overnight. Yet, fame and money just blows up your ego. It is not the same as having confidence.

My early 40s were a last scramble to fix everything about myself that I wasn’t happy with. For example, it used to bother me that I didn’t have many friends and I tried to change that.

But, I would say that, when I turned 45, I finally got confident. I became much more accepting of my flaws. I became happier in my own company. I gave up dating because trying to impress people is a full-time job. so I guess my mum was — almost — right!

Yet, one thing she never talked about was the menopause. If mine isn’t here yet, it’s definitely coming: either that or I’m losing my mind! since hitting my 50s, I feel my weight more, I get hot and stressed about little things.

A few months ago I took my children jet skiing for Tahmel’s 23rd birthday, but they annoyed me so much I got an Uber and went home. People between 20 and 25 I can only do in small doses. Normally I’d have stuck it out, but I’ve given up trying to please people — if that’s the menopause, I’m good!

Macy Gray features on the Good Night Songs For rebel Girls’ album, out now on Decca records.