QUIZ: ARE YOU A BUNDLE OF NERVES?

1Your boss announces a restructuring meeting. What’s your first reaction? A. Oh no! She hates me. This is her chance to get rid of me! B. Wow. I wonder what this means for me? Let’s go and find out. C. Without a job there will be no holiday and no treats for the kids and we might even have to downsize, and it’ll all be my fault …

2Your husband says he likes your new hairstyle. Do you… A. Think: ‘He’s only saying that because he hated the last one and this one covers the wrinkles on my forehead.’ B. Say: ‘Thanks. It’s cool isn’t it?’ C. Think: ‘OMG, he’s being nice because he’s feeling guilty about something, probably an affair!’

3Your friends’ group chat on WhatsApp has been quiet for two weeks. How do you interpret its silence? A. They’ve set up another one and are having fun on it without me. B. Everyone’s probably busy. I’ll post something today and see who’s free for a walk. C. This is so typical. I’ve always been bad at making friends and now I’ve lost these ones and I’ll probably never make any again.

4You’re invited to an online school reunion. Do you… A. Say yes, but spend sleepless nights worrying that everyone will be more successful than you and think you’ve put on weight. B. Look forward to it. Some might have better jobs than you but you like your life, so who cares? C. Delete the invite. You’d only say something stupid and have a panic attack, just like you always do.

5Your partner hasn’t replied to a text in an hour. Are you... A. Worried he’s ignoring you because of something you said, though you’re not sure what. B. Completely unconcerned. He’s probably in a meeting. C. Frantically sending him text after text. He’s obviously been fired/got stuck in a lift/been knocked off his bike/left you for another woman!

6You’re helping to plan your daughter’s wedding for the summer. Are you... A. Already convinced that the mother of the groom will be slimmer and younger-looking than you. B. Often thinking about it, but with excitement and pleasure — and booking a marquee just in case it rains. C. Locked in a spiral of worry over your daughter’s fiance. What if he’s not the right man for her? It will ruin her life!

MOSTLY As

You’re a classic worrier. Your default is to play down the positive, which means you can never take a compliment at face value.

You engage in what psychologists call ‘mind-reading’, where you arbitrarily conclude people are thinking negatively about you without any evidence that they are. remember: most of the time other people are thinking about themselves.

No one can know what another person is thinking. Acting on assumptions is not only unhelpful but potentially harmful.

MOSTLY Bs

Well done! You’ve got your overthinking tendencies firmly under control. You know beliefs and feelings are not facts and that even if the facts are bad (rain is forecast on your daughter’s wedding day) there is always an action you can take to make them better (you’ll book a marquee).

You know not everyone you meet will like you, but you’re comfortable enough in your own skin not to mind.

MOSTLY Cs

You’re not only an overthinker but a catastrophiser. You start every sentence with OMG! You exaggerate and don’t stop exaggerating until you are exhausted from being overwhelmed.

You also tend to engage in ‘overgeneralisation’, a thought filter where a single defeat is seen as setting a pattern for a lifetime of misery. Try to recognise these thoughts as nothing more than flights of the imagination. Future outcomes are never set in stone.