HIS THINNESS MEANS I HATE MY FAT MORE
Marion Mcgilvary, 62, has four grown-up children and lives with her partner george, 57, in oxford.
WHILE we have always been a ‘mixed-weight’ couple, in the past six years I’ve grown very fat and the gulf between my weight and my partner’s has widened. Not only did I gain a ‘corona stone’ over the past year, but another seven pounds either side. So I’m now 15st. My other half, meanwhile, is 6ft, slim, and hasn’t gained an ounce in the past decade. Shortly after we met, I lost 2st and was my ideal weight. Feeling wonderful, I once made the mistake of asking if he liked me
better slim. He reluctantly nodded in agreement. Those words haunt me now I’m five stone heavier than I was then.
My Jack Sprat actually does eat the fat but never puts on weight, while I attempt to eat lean and, unfairly, my self-sabotaging metabolism piles it on like calorific sunscreen, slathering on extra pounds.
The sad truth is that he just doesn’t really care about food, provided it’s meat-free. On the other hand, I adore it. While he has never dared comment on my weight, over the past year, as I grew ever bigger, I did notice a bit of side-eye from my beloved as I helped myself to another slice of pie. I would get angry and yell ‘Don’t monitor my food’. Do I wish I was one of those skinny vegetarians who live on organic kale smoothies and water? I’d be lying if I said no. It’s galling to be fat while he stays the same slim chap he always was. His thinness only makes me hate my fat more. He walks. I waddle. When I was thinner, I walked too. Ten miles together every weekend. I also danced salsa and tango every week, and did yoga.
Covid put paid to dancing; and jumping up and down in a Zoom class in the three feet between the telly and the sofa only ended one way — with me sitting down with the remote control. On our weekend walks, I puffed along behind while he strode ahead. And as the physical gulf between us grew ever bigger, I’d lie awake worrying about my weight — until last month I snapped.
I’m now on several diets. Weight Watchers, intermittent fasting and keto. In four weeks I’ve lost the first of my corona stones. Joy! The unexpected side-effect is that we now eat totally different meals. My partner has gone back to his happy bachelor habit of eating the same four meals on a rota and enjoying stodgy puddings alone. So much for togetherness. Still, hopefully we’ll at least be closer in weight soon.