Quentin, ever ready with a Crisp retort!

BACK in the 1960s, a book came out titled The Naked Civil Servant by Quentin Crisp. After reading it, I felt I had known Mr Crisp for ever. his lifestyle was new, his novel outstanding, and it rapidly became a bestseller. Who was this author, what made him tick? A television programme, based on his book and starring John hurt, emerged and was madly successful. I felt a theatre tour might well attract an audience. I did some research and found he lived in Fulham, and was making a living as a male model, posing nude for art students. My agent arranged a meeting. When I rang his doorbell in Beaufort Street, I didn’t know what to expect. he ushered me in. his faded shirt hung on his slim frame. he offered me black tea as though it were compulsory. The Naked Civil Servant (a splendid title) had gained rave reviews. The black tea gave me courage and so I asked: ‘What would you think if I could book a tour for you to tell the masses what you felt they should know?’ I faltered. I was a young man, just making a name for myself in the world of entertainment, and here was I daring to suggest a tour of ‘An audience with . . .’ when I was known for presenting Frankie howerd, Cavan O’Connor, ruby Murray, Don MacLean, Bob Monkhouse, and Diana Dors — a long way away from the world of Quentin Crisp. he looked at me with a solemn expression. After a good ten minutes he gave me a curious smile and replied in his own quiet way: ‘Whatever you want, I want.’ No one could argue with that. It was a phrase I would recognise time and again in the days to come. My idea about the tour was positive. In 24 hours, I had 40 theatres pencilled in. Quentin would do an hour’s talk, then invite questions from the audience and be clever enough to provide witty and interesting answers. This he did remarkably well. It turned out I had undervalued Mr Crisp. he embraced each and every question with a witty reply, which was theatre at its best. I had a star on my hands and a show that was as interesting and individual as one could desire. Brian, my chauffeur, picked up Quentin each day; punctuality was his keynote. he always wore the same attire topped by a large fedora hat, except for a variety of colourful scarves, one for each day of the week. he knew he was eccentric and not to everyone’s taste, but he revelled in being different. Quentin, for the first time in his life, had a few pounds in his pocket. his publisher, of course, made a fortune, and implored Quentin to write another book, one that the masses would buy, having sampled the first effort. Book signing after his performance was a ‘must’, and many enthusiasts queued readily to meet the great man in person. The tour made Quentin Crisp well known — an icon for many. he was a very unusual author and, as he proved, a performer of unusual and excellent talent.