Ephraim Hardcastle
MEGHAN’S milestone 40th birthday passed without the Royal National Theatre replacing her as patron. Artistic director Rufus Norris has said the replacement process is ongoing. But earlier, in 2018, he confirmed that he wanted to drop all royal associations. Might Norris grasp the nettle, return the Royal Charter originally awarded in 1988 to mark Sir Peter Hall’s retirement as director, and choose instead of a royal, a patron from Luvvieland?
ULTRA Brexiteer Sir John Redwood, often mistaken for Star Trek’s Mr Spock, complains about censorship on BBC2’s Newsnight, telling talkRADIO’s Mike Graham: ‘They named a very narrow subject which is one I’ve never expressed a view on willingly. I said, “Well, I’d rather do something else. If you’re interested in my views, I could speak on...” and reeled off a whole load of things. And they said, “No thanks”.’ Fingers crossed they’d paid for his taxi back to the planet Vulcan.
Will Camilla’s new Reading Room be offering royal mates’ rates endorsing Sarah Ferguson’s The Heart Of The Compass? If Camilla, pictured, ignores Fergie, the Duchess of York shouldn’t feel too offended. On her daft ‘Storytime with Fergie and Friends’ YouTube videos she has yet to provide a leg-up for Meghan’s The Bench.
EX-BBC documentary boss Jacquie Hughes, mother of gold medal-winning swimmer Tom Dean, seems to have forgiven her former employer after moaning about its scaled-down coverage of the Olympics and saying it ‘pained’ her as a citizen. Proud Jacquie is now alerted by her phone ringtone of Tom’s Toyko triumph, with BBC commentator John Hunt trilling: ‘Tom Dean, you have just won the Olympic Games.’
OLD Etonian ex-Grenadier Guards officer Lord Valentine Cecil once helped Rudolf Hess build a snowman when he was guarding Hitler’s former deputy at Berlin’s Spandau Prison, telling The Oldie: ‘When I suggested that we finish it with a nose, eyes and mouth he assisted, but he was enraged when I suggested that we put on a small toothbrush moustache.’ The German sense of humour being no laughing matter!
SIR Paul McCartney’s vegetarianism prompted singer Billy Joel to empty his fridge of meat and hide it in a drawer before Macca paid a visit to his Hamptons home. ‘A few days go by and I smell dead chicken sitting in a drawer,’ he tells radio host Howard Stern.’ It was all so well hidden I couldn’t find it.’
EX-Tory MP Matthew Parris joins the clamour to have chocolate alpaca Geronimo reprieved, claiming that his pet llamas express solidarity, adding: ‘Vera, our matriarch llama who turned 12 on Monday, is distraught.’ Does Matty still put his baby teeth under the pillow?