A SIDEWAYS GLANCE AT THE WEEK

PITY the poor soul who will one day have to conjure a match report out of this pandemic. It has been an undulating battle that will live on in infamy. Thankfully, throughout it all, we have been guided by the tactical mind of Jonathan Van-Tam. The inoculation-John Motson was at it again this week. Puzzled by the emergence of Omicron (no, not that Brazilian midfielder) and the effect it has on our clash with coronavirus? Fear not. Deputy chief medical officer and Mr Boston United had the answer. ‘Omicron is like picking up a couple of yellow cards to key players,’ JVT explained this week. ‘We’re starting to feel at risk that we might go down to 10 players… we need everyone on the pitch to up their game in the meantime.’ In real terms, that means coming forward for your booster jabs. As for our tussle with AFC Covid, however, where does that leave us? Here’s a run-through of how the game has unfolded so far… In the first half the visitors ‘gave us an absolute battering’. Only 1-0 down, we found an equaliser on 70 minutes. ‘We’ve got to hold our nerve now,’ JVT warned. ‘See if we can get another goal and nick it. But the key thing is not to lose it, not to throw it away at this point.’ Against the odds, thanks to a vaccine breakthrough, we reached the play-off final. ‘It’s gone to penalties, the first player goes up and scores a goal. You haven’t won the cup yet, but it tells you that the goalkeeper can be beaten.’ Can we assume we won that shootout? Because somehow the game continues. This week, VanTam explained that in trying to tackle earlier variants we ‘picked up a couple of injuries’ and ‘have had to use our subs off the bench to keep us in the game’. Now Omicron’s introduction has prompted the referee to dip into his pocket. We must go again. This does not slip. No one, not least Van-Tam, needs telling that football’s Christmas calendar can punish even the most resilient squad.