Being a bit delusional can actually be good for you!

AS A natural pessimist, I’ve worked hard to look on the bright side of life and believe things will work out, as I know it’s good for me: optimists tend to live longer, be healthier and sleep better.

My wife, Clare, is an optimist and I find it galling that she refuses to share some of my more negative predictions about the future. I sometimes wonder if her optimism is a form of self-delusion.

If so, she’s not alone. According to researchers from the University of Antwerp in Belgium, self-delusion is very common. In a recent paper in the journal Philosophical Psychology, they describe different techniques we use to protect our fragile egos from the harsh realities of life. Many of these techniques, I must admit, I recognise.

First, there is the ‘reorganisation of beliefs’. An example of this is parents who are convinced their child is brilliant and blame bad grades on the teacher. Another technique, if you are determined to hold on to your beliefs, is to avoid going anywhere where those beliefs might be challenged. And if they are challenged, why not just reject what you are being told by casting doubt on the credibility of the source?

Finally, you can just tune out the stuff you don’t want to hear. Perhaps your doctor tells you that you are in good shape but could do with losing some weight. All you hear is: ‘You’re in good shape.’

Does it matter? In many circumstances a bit of self-delusion can be a good thing.

There is evidence people who put a positive spin on things are happier and better liked than those who are more realistic. And when it comes to loved ones, a study by the State University of New York in 1998 found the stronger a couple’s illusions about each other, the more likely the relationship was to survive.

The fact that I think Clare is as lovely as when we first met may well be a delusion, but it is one that makes us both happy.