Is your pup posh enough for canine cologne?
We test the best dog de-stinkers
DONNA KARAN once concocted a fragrance that recreated the scent of her husband’s neck. My own beloved’s smell is warm, powdery, mineral, velvet plush.
If the aroma were reproduced by a perfume house nose, it would be earthy and flintily elemental. And I would bury my nose in it constantly.
In my capacity as a middle-aged woman, said beloved is obviously a dog: Pimlico, my beautiful blue whippet. Besotted, I am constantly kissing Pim while imbibing her silken scent. And, yet, as Britain’s 3.2million new lockdown dog owners will attest, there are times when our four-legged friends do not smell so sublime after rolling in duck poop.
So, how to mitigate the issue? I give you the fragrance industry’s hot new genre: canine cologne. Britain’s 11 million-plus hounds now come not merely pampered, but perfumed.
‘Can this be wise?’ I ask south London’s hound whisperer, Adam Tinsley of the Goddard Veterinary Group, who has saved Pim’s life on numerous occasions. Won’t these artificial scents upset her nose and skin?
‘Owners use them in conjunction with bathing, or as a spruce between washes,’ he says. ‘They’re designed for dogs, so are not an issue for their skin. And it’s a lot better than smelling of fox urine.’
I did invest in a canine cologne before Pim arrived, paranoid about having one of those homes where the reek of damp dog is obvious to all but its owner.
The spritz I opted for was B.O.S. Naturals Baby Powder & Aloe Vera Scented Dog Cologne, which I bought on Amazon enticed by its being natural, British-made and subtly unobtrusive. But how does B.O.S. stack up against its rival dog de-stinkers? Pim and I sniffed out the best of the bunch . . .
FOR BATH-PHOBICS
Kiehl’s Cuddly-Coat Cleansing Spritz (£15, for 250ml, kiehls.co.uk) THEY SAY: ‘Formulated with chamomile flower extract and glycerin, this freshly-scented formula helps spot clean and deodorise pups on the go. Spray for a healthylooking shine.’ WHAT THAT MEANS: A convenient, no-rinse cleansing spray with a barely-there aroma. THE SMELL: Minimal freshness. BEST FOR: Bath-phobic hounds.
PAW POINTS: 8/10
HEADACHE-INDUCING
Peach Bum natural Parfum For lady Dogs (£12 for 250ml, dogslovehownd.com) THEY SAY: ‘A feminine fragrance with heart notes of sweet orange, jasmine and peach.’ WHAT THAT MEANS: A sickly affront to all creatures great and small. THE SMELL: Cloyingly saccharine bargain-basement pot pourri. BEST FOR: Giving you a headache.
PAW POINTS: 0/10 GROOMER’S CHOICE
B.O.S. naturals Baby Powder and aloe Vera Scented Dog Cologne (£13.59 for 250ml, amazon.co.uk) THEY SAY: ‘The most popular scent with professional groomers. It contains aloe vera which helps with the nourishing of the coat and skin. We offer a 100 per cent money back guarantee.’ WHAT THAT MEANS: Pimlico gets drenched in it when she rolls in fox pee. THE SMELL: Powdered baby skin. BEST FOR: Silken whippets.
PAW POINTS: 10/10
AFTERSHAVE STYLE
Barbour Dog Cologne (£14.95 for 100ml, johnlewis.com) THEY SAY: ‘A dog cologne to refresh and soothe skin to keep them smelling fresh.’ WHAT IT MEANS: A cologne in the most ballsy sense. THE SMELL: Traditional aftershave. BEST FOR: The four-legged pals of golfers and country-pubbers?
PAW POINTS: 5/10
SEASIDE SCENT
Men’s Society good Dog Cologne in Coastal (£9.50 for 200ml, johnlewis.com) THEY SAY: ‘Hand-crafted on the Norfolk coast, this natural scent is the perfect finishing touch to a bathing routine.’ WHAT IT MEANS: A minimal approach with a luxury feel. THE SMELL: Flinty rocks and sea air. BEST FOR: Subtle scent for the poshest pets.
PAW POINTS: 9/10
DOGGY DE-STINKER
Bramley Digby Dog Deodorising Spray (£14, bramleyproducts.co.uk)
THEY SAY: ‘This cedarwood and peppermint spray has a higher pH so it’s suitable for your dog’s sensitive skin. It is naturally antifungal, antiseptic and antibacterial.’ WHAT IT MEANS: A dog destinker with health benefits. THE SMELL: Juicy Fruit chewing gum. BEST FOR: Hippy hounds whose long locks call for a groom.
PAW POINTS: 7/10