‘The Vardys bobbed about like meerkats’
out Wayne’s very first inkling was on October 9, 2019 when he woke up in the US – where he was working at the time – and, along with the rest of the world, read his wife’s dramatic ‘It’s .......... Rebekah Vardy’s account’ tweet.
‘It was a surprise to me,’ he tells the court, as Coleen looks on, serene as a swan. At the other end of the bench, the Vardys bob about in shocked excitement like a pair of meerkats.
But maybe more surprising is Wayne’s insistence he really knew next to nothing about the whole sorry Wagtastic drama until last week.
What about the £3million libel suit gathering pace for the past two-anda-half years? The screaming headlines. The bulging legal teams. The star lawyers. The brouhaha, the trollalmost ing. Wasn’t he even a bit curious who Wagatha Christie might be?
‘I’ve never discussed it with my wife,’ he says firmly. ‘Me sitting in this courtroom this week is the first time I’m hearing everything in this case. It’s been a long week. It’s the first time I’ve heard any of it... I’ve been here to support my wife. This week is the first time I’ve had any understanding of what’s all happened.’
WE all know how independent private Coleen is. And how busy they both are – she with the boys, him wrestling with Derby County. Though, to be fair, their body language – so straight-backed and separate – is a bit of a giveaway.
Even so, it’s a bit surprising. Certainly, Rebekah Vardy looks utterly gobsmacked.
This is, after all, the woman who spent so much time FaceTiming her husband during the 2016 Euros – even when he was just hanging out and playing pool with the lads – that the others felt she was part of the team. It’s hard to imagine a single thing she doesn’t discuss with Jamie. She’s whispering in his ear right now, while still holding his hand under the table as Wayne caps off his evidence with a moving little speech.
About how no one wants to be sitting in court. How, for two-and-a-half years, he’s watched Coleen struggle under the pressure and ‘become a different mother, a different wife’, and how they just want the judgment and to get on with their lives. By the time he finally sits down again, we’ve all learned some surprising – and less surprising – things. That Wayne Rooney is surprisingly articulate and thoughtful. That he and Coleen appear to live very separate, independent lives.
That Wayne and Jamie were never proper pals. That no one – not even a QC to the oligarchs – puts our Wayne in the corner. But perhaps most arrestingly that Wayne has not – as we wrongly assumed – been sitting here bored out of his enormous skull all week. No! He’s actually been utterly gripped as the entire mad Wagatha Christie story unfurled before him and he realised he was the very last person in Britain to know.
What a day. What a treat. What a ride. We need a break. But not yet, because, just as we’re all settling down to a nice soothing afternoon of densely detailed expert evidence, the Vardys take an early bath, again. Rebekah’s feeling ill, apparently.
Poor her. Maybe it’s the excitement of having Jamie by her side. Or perhaps she’s just feeling sick of the Rooneys. Because, as it turns out, while we sat in court, her ‘representative’ was outside, on the front steps of the Royal Courts of Justice, reading out the following statement from Jamie.
‘Wayne is talking nonsense. He must be confused because he never spoke to me about issues concerning Becky’s media work at Euro 2016. There was nothing to speak about, I know this because I discuss everything with Becky…’
Frankly, after all that, we’re a bit relieved to be told there’s no court tomorrow, so we have a calming break before returning for the final gripping episode of Wagatha Christie. Hopefully Rebekah will be feeling better by then.