That Italian waiter looks a bit familiar

AWORK colleague was planning a trip to Venice and asked for my advice because I’d been before. his wife had a big birthday coming up and he wanted to surprise her with a weekend break abroad. he’d told her just to have her passport handy and the destination would be a surprise. I told him we’d enjoyed our visit so much we were returning. As we talked, we realised we’d be there at the same time. Always up for some fun, I said: ‘Leave it to me — we will meet up there and I’ll create a surprise for her. Don’t tell her we’ll be there.’ We checked the city map; their hotel was just a ten-minute stroll from ours. I spoke to my friend before we went and asked him to be in the residents’ bar at 8pm and not before. nervously he replied: ‘Why, what are you up to?’ My wife and I went to their hotel the night before they arrived. I explained to the manager that one of their residents would be celebrating a big birthday the next day and could I wear one of the waiter’s jackets in the evening and carry them a tray with champagne and glasses. he thought it was a wonderful idea and said: ‘Come into reception when you are ready and we will sort it for you.’ We then spent most of the next day trying not to be too conspicuous at any of the famous Venetian tourist sites in case they spotted us. My wife and I duly arrived at the hotel at 7.30pm and sorted out the waiter’s jacket with the manager. When I appeared at their table with the champagne and a straight face, my colleague’s wife was shocked and said: ‘he looks like eric!’ I replied: ‘Non capisco’ (I don’t understand). We all fell about laughing. The favour was returned next evening when my friend and his wife whisked us off on a gondola trip around the back canals past busy local bars. As a chorister, I couldn’t resist standing up and rendering in my Brummie tenor voice ‘Just one Cornetto’ to loud applause from the bar-goers. The gondolier had what looked like a ‘not another one’ expression on his face.