Straight to the POINT

■ SIR Tony Blair? It’s an utter disgrace

D. JOHNSON, Tayport, Fife.

■ IF STAFF from Aldi were put in charge of security at the airports, passengers would be through in less than two minutes.

IAN HENDEN, Fareham, Hants.

■ WHEN there is a successor to Boris, will they keep the wallpaper?

CHRIS KING, Chichester, W. Sussex.

■ ‘KEIR’S chance to go for PM’s gizzards (Mail).’ I know Boris has nine lives, but not multiple stomachs. Is he a poorly disguised ruminant?

BOB BELL, Croydon, Surrey.

■ IT’S a bit rich that Falkirk should complain about The Killers’ loud music when the Scots regale us with hideous bagpipes.

ALAN HARDMAN, Bury, Gtr Manchester.

■ MY MUM always said brains and beauty were a formidable package, so I don’t think she would have been worried about being called a bimbo (Femail). After all, my parents were the original Barbie and Ken!

YVETTE FISHER, Blackpool.

■ THE dire state of BBC continuity announcements hit a new low with: ‘I ’opeyer’ve recoovered from yer platty jubes!’

CLIVE WHICHELOW, London SW19.

■ MY FAVOURITE subtitle faux pas was when it said Kim Jong-un signed the Magna Carta.

VAL CONNELLY, Dorchester, Dorset.

■ YOU don’t want to know the subtitle for a TV reporter standing in a sty and saying: ‘Pigs nibble anything, even wellies.’

A. WILLS, Ruislip, Middlesex. FOR permission to copy cuttings for internal management and information purposes, please contact the Newspaper Licensing Agency (NLA), PO Box 101, Tunbridge Wells TN1 1WX. Tel: 01892 525273. e-mail: copy@nla.co.uk